July 03, 2010

Sharing Saturday - Your Questions

Welcome to Sharing Saturday, where we suck out all the knowledge you have to share it with the rest of us.  I'm your hostess Cheri, and today we're highlighting three more readers' questions.  Tell us watcha know.  Don't be shy.




1) Getting rid of the bop (pacifier.)








2) I'd like to know about dying clothes, I have some black pants of my sons that have faded but still fit, but I'm scared to try dying them.


 
 
 

 
 
 
3) My two-year-old has suddenly decided to abandon his afternoon nap. On a positive note, he's now going to bed much earlier, which helps, but we have a major problem. I also have a sixteen-month-old who desperately still needs his nap. I'm wondering...what can I do with my two-year-old during nap time so that he'll stay quiet and his baby brother can still get a solid nap in? He's not into TV, won't sit still for movies, and pretty much wants attention all. the. time! I would love to come up with a few things that he can do independently so I can I also have a little break. It was heavenly when they were both napping at the same time, but now I'm at a loss. Any ideas???



Thanks for sharing.  Next week we'll take a mini-break from the Sharing Saturday to do a Soapbox Saturday.  Gotta switch it up here and there, you know?  Thanks again!

39 comments:

  1. letting go of the pacifier has to be a talked about situation...for at least a month in advance of taking it away- my 2 1/2 year old knew it was coming but I comforted her by telling her the binky fairy was coming to leave her a present. We also made up a song about a binky going "bye bye" and we sung it every night before bed. The binky fairy came like this: after 2-3 months of talking and preparing her for the final goodbye of the pacifer- we tied the binky up in our tree and then went inside. The binky fairy came (daddy) and took the binky and replaced it with a toy- in my daughter's case, we got her a Tinkerbell doll. The doll was hanging from the tree. It was perfect. My little girl had little spouts of wanting the binky here and there- but overall she recovered quite well...and sleeps like a charm.

    2 year old not sleeping 16 month is? Get a good quality sound machine. I swear by those things. I read to my 4 year old for 20 minutes or so until I know my 2 year old is sound asleep. If I were you I would just abandon the 16 month's old first nap and have them both just take 1 nap...at least you will get alone time each day.

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  2. Regarding the paci - we had issues with this for a long time. My son was almost three before he gave it up. We had lots of good help though - his daycare didn't allow paci's so he learned he had to give it up when we walked in to drop him off. He adjusted to that fairly quickly. He took his afternoon nap there with no paci. So on the weekends, we stuck with that routine (after a few months)- no paci at naptime. We managed after a few more months to have him down to getting his paci at bedtime only (he would ask for it in the evenings for a while). We didn't really talk about it going away. Didn't offer a prize or anything (although if we had I think we could have done this more quickly!!). One night, we laid down to read our bedtime story and he fell asleep before I was done - without the paci. After he went to sleep, I gathered up all the paci's and put them out of sight, to just see what would happen. He didn't mention it again at all. Over the next few years, he would occasionally come across one we'd forgotten about (buried in toys or a drawer) and he's bring it to me and ask what it was. He had completely forgotten about it!! :D Good luck!! Some kids have a harder time than others - it's just finding the right way to ween them or the right incentive!

    If you have a relative or close family friend having a baby, it's nice to have the paci fairy come get it so the new baby can get a paci of it's own!

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  3. I don't really have any advice for the pacifier, because I took it away from my kids when they were 1 month old.

    Dyeing clothes... If your pants contain animal fibers, then you could kool aid dye them. Instructions here: http://textiles4you.blogspot.com/2010/02/kool-aid-dyeing.html But if they are like most pants, Rit dye is very easy to use, and you can buy it from the craft store. The instructions are on the bottle. Use hot tap water and add a tablespoon or 2 of salt to it to help the dye stick. Pre-soak your pants in water before adding them to the dye bath. Make sure that there is plenty of room in the bucket. You don't want to cram them in a tight container, because you might get a tied dyed effect. One interesting thing about black dye is that it has another color as its base. So if you bleach it, you may discover that it is really blue, green, red, or brown.

    Nap time... Try setting up an art table and letting him paint (water color paints) or draw or collage. Have an area set aside to dry the paper. Also playdough is a great activity. Do you have a yard? Go outside with the baby monitor and let your 2 year old get out some energy. You could bring out a book, knitting, crocheting, etc. with you to relax.

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  4. #2-dying clothes is super easy. I have dyed many a garment as part of my Halloween costumes. I like to dye in a bucket outside on the grass so I don't have to worry about staining anything in my house; like my bathtub, sink, or washing machine. I've always used Ritz fabric dyes which seem to work fine. Just grab a stick or some other utensil you don't mind dying along with your fabric, wear some gloves, and have some fun.

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  5. My son's pacifier "broke" one day between nap and bedtime. The paci lived in his crib but he got it every night after bath to watch a few minutes of TV before bed to wind down. When we got it out after bathtime that night, the nipple was missing (I cut it off & threw it away, but left the rest of the paci in there). I told him when boys get too big for their pacis, then they break. He slept with it that first night (even though he couldn't suck on it) and then the next day he decided to throw it away. He was about 2 months shy of turning 2. This worked like a DREAM! Very few tears, nothing a minute of rocking didn't fix. Maybe I just got lucky, but I'd definitely try it.

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  6. #3 He is 2. That says it all. You can't let him decide when and if he is taking a nap. Take control of the situation and put him down for a nap. You might have a hard time getting him to sleep the first few times but stick to your guns. He is too little to skip his nap. Put him in his room, remove any toys or distractions, close the door and leave him to it. If he comes out, keep putting him back. He will get the message after a few days of this. Don't give up-- stick to your plan. You won't be sorry. Even if he goes to bed earlier, I'm betting he is not so easy to get along with after skipping a nap. Yikes.

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  7. #1 We got to the point where we didn't replace lost or broken pacis, and finally were down to one. When that one was lost, I panicked and bought more, but didn't give them to my daughter. She got over it much faster than I thought she would, and I never brought out the back-ups. (She was 3 at the time.) My mom broke my brother by poking a hole in the nipple. He didn't like sucking in air, so he gave it up without the parents taking it away.

    #3 My two year olds starting skipping naps, but I wasn't ready to deal with two year old twins all day long. I needed my break in the afternoon too. I stuck with it and now that they're 3 1/2 they still take naps most days. They rest in the afternoon for at least 1 1/2 hours everyday, longer if they fall asleep. It makes us all much happier.

    If you don't want to go that route, I would say find something high interest that he can only play with without the baby like playdough, crafts, legos, etc.

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  8. We use soundmakers at our house - our kids are 7, 5 and 4 now and we still use them - they cover the noise in the house will little people are sleeping and work great for nighttime too (having guests, vaccuuming at night, thunderstorms etc), we also take ours when we travel to grandma's house as it helps the kids to feel more "like home" and secure. You can find them at Walmart for about $20. Good luck : D

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  9. 1. We've had great success mailing paci's to the Paci Fairy. Both my girls did it happily and never mentioned them again (ages 2 & 3). I NEVER thought they'd give them up.

    2. I love books, quiet toys and puzzles as nap time activities. We set a timer for 1 hour and our older, non nappers, stay in a room doing quiet activities during "alone time." It works pretty well.

    Andrea @ TheTrainToCrazy.com

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  10. for getting rid of the "binky", we had our son put all of his binkies in a little cloth bag. He slept with the binky bag for a few days and then we put it away. I also remember my pediatrician told me to cut the ends off the binkies (they don't feel as good to suck) and keep cutting more off each day until there is almost no nipple left on the end...they will lose interest in them fast that way too! good luck!

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  11. 2. just do it outside and then there is nothing to worry about. make sure you set the dye. it will depend on what dye you use as to how to do this. And I would wash them before letting the kiddo wear them just to make sure no extra dye will run if water is spilled.

    3. I agree with Leca. If you let your kid tell you what to do now, you will have a hell of a teenager. I suggest that if he doesnt want to do a nap and you don't have the energy to fight him on it, that you still have quiet time. I nanny 3 boys, and only 1 takes a nap. They all go and have quiet time for at least half an hour or up to a full hour at the same time. Their mom plans to continue this even when none are napping. During quiet time they can draw or flip through books or quietly play with toys. Let your kid grow an imagination and learn to do some things on his own. If he is too little to handle that, than he isn't big enough to not nap.

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  12. #1 - you really can do "cold-turkey" with a pacifier if you want to...though you might have a few rough days. We were forced into this because our 12-month-old fell while crawling and chipped his front tooth on the paci/floor. The dentist said no pacifier until his tooth was fixed, which was 3 days. By then, he was fine without it.

    #3 - it really can take some discipline to get a 2-year-old to nap...it's not fun, but it is possible. For us, the trick is figuring out the exact time when he's getting sleepy, and not starting to ramp back up and get hyper. If we're late, he doesn't nap. Sounds crazy, but if he's down by noon, we're fine, but by 12:15, he might be wound up again. Plus we still do the slow, wind-down routine of reading a story, singing a song, etc.

    Good luck!

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  13. Regarding getting rid of pacifiers (and why are they called that, anyway?? It's more like a create-more-chaoser :D): When my baby sister was about three, and my mother was desperately trying to get rid of the paci, we came up with the idea of cutting off the nipple part, leaving it in plain sight, and then telling the baby that the ants, or dog, or something, had eaten her paci. She totally accepted that without question, and we didn't have a problem after that. We did it to all four of her binkies and she never complained. This method also worked with two of my brothers.

    Good luck!

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  14. I agree with Leca and Phoenix Peacock, at this age they really don't know what they need and if you let them decided on this one there will be a lot of trouble when they demand to make the next decision.
    My son tried this at about 15 months. I just put him in his crib at the regular time and went into my room and did something. He was yelling and calling for me, but he was fine. After a few days of this he just went to bed.

    Quiet activities also work. Like Phoenix said, if they aren't big enough to have quiet time, they aren't big enough to skip napping.
    What works for my son is just putting him in his highchair and letting him color or stack tupperware with some music playing softly. Usually, I'll be close by doing dishes or laundry and I just don't talk to him- I do fill his tummy though. Mashed potatoes,rice,noodles...something that will fill his tummy and make him sleepy. When he falls asleep at the table I just move his food and let him sleep there for an hour or so.

    Quiet time is important for us moms to keep our sanity. If you have to play dirty so be it. :)

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  15. No. 3: This isn't the answer you're looking for, but it is one answer. When my 2yo decided he was done with his afternoon nap, I just flat-out rejected the idea. He was very stubborn, but after a couple of months (maybe even three), I had him sleeping again, and he napped for another year. It would involve purchasing a black-out shade that he can't lift or remove, as well as removing toys and other distractions from the room. My son got creative and even starting pulling his clothes out of the drawers. I made him clean it all up before naptime was over and threatened to put drawer locks on (it never came to that). It was hard, but I was so steadfast because -- like you -- I knew he needed the sleep. Good luck!

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  16. Oh, P.S. No. 3: I would never, ever discontinue Quiet Time spent in your child's room, every afternoon, for at least 2 hours. My now-5yo is in QT right this minute, where he reads and chillaxes every day for 2 hours. He will do it until August, when he starts school!

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  17. napping and the lack of: we aren't quite there yet but I have heard from many other moms that when the nap goes away they still have to have quiet time in their room as a replacement.

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  18. Regarding the pacifier:
    My sister tried for months to rid her two year old of pacifiers. Finally, a couple weeks before my niece's 3rd birthday, my niece's parents talked with her about giving up her pacifier. She didn't like the idea at first, but reluctantly agreed that maybe she was going to be too old for a pacifier.
    For her birthday, her parents brought her to "Build-a-Bear," where she picked out a bunny rabbit, watched it being stuffed, and then put the pacifier that she had been using into the bunny rabbit. My sister secretly gave a bag full of other pacifiers to the clerk and asked him to throw them away. They made a big deal about they event, took pictures and let her choose "clothes" for the bunny rabbit. My niece was close to tears during the event, but never shed a tear and then never asked about her pacifiers afterwards. She then slept with the bunny rabbit that night.

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  19. I have done Rit dye in my washing machine (bright Pink) it didn't stain Anything, and it turned all my son's dingy white onesies into cute pink ones for my baby daughter. Worked like a charm...Though I admit I was VERY nervous about it and it actually sat in my laundry room for months before i went ahead with it! I also used a Rit Color remover for some whites that got turned Pink by a stray red paper in my hubby's pocket...Worked GREAT!

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  20. In regards to doing quiet time activities why not try some montessori inspired busy bag activities like these ones: http://www.mydeliciousambiguity.com/2010/06/toddler-busy-bag-activities.html
    I've also posted a link on my site for people to link up any other "activities in a bag" that they find useful. Hope this helps!

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  21. My 2 3/4 year old boy has been VERY attached to his binky. In fact, earlier this year we lost them all and I thought it was a good time to give it up for good. It didn't go over well. He went from being a perfect sleeping kid and overall content, to being extra whiney, clingy and wouldn't go to sleep unless I laid with him till he zonked out. I decided after a month and a half of that hell I would give it back. So I did. He eventually went back to my happy content boy. As we have been approaching 3 years old I keep thinking it's time for him to move on. One day I thought we lost his binky at the mall and he hasnt looked back. I think it's important for kids to be secure, and if they are older and insecure without it, maybe they need it for a while longer. I know my theory goes against all of what modern world tells us to do with our kids and binky's, but honestly I would rather have a secure child even if it meant he would go to preschool with the binky. So, when your kid is ready, losing it accidentally on purpose works out really well!

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  22. Good luck everyone who asked the questions!!

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  23. We took the binky away before our first was too attached to it. (About 12-13 months old) We took the bottle at the same time. Doesn't help you though.

    As for naps, teach your two year old that during your 16 month olds nap time it is quiet time in his room. He can nap or play but he needs to stay in his room. There's my 2 cents. Hope it helps...

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  24. as for the naps- my kids are 17 months apart, so i remember having to get my younger one down for a nap while still having a 2 yr old who wanted to play. i would set him up with an activity, or maybe some washable crayons, or flashcards and tell him that if he gave me a few minutes to get his sister down, he would have mommy to himself to play games, color or do whatever he wanted. usually that worked and he let me get her down because he wanted alone time with mommy and i made the alone time sound really special to him (of course, it was really special!)

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  25. 1) We went cold turkey with Rex just after a year. I've never been a big fan of big kids walking around town with binkies. Even before then he only had it at night or in the car if we were desperate. He cried for a while the first night and then a tiny bit the second night and then it was over. Sorry, I'm not so sensitive like the rest of you. I guess I'm a mean mommy!

    2) Dana from Made has a great tutorial on this. Here's the link:

    http://www.dana-made-it.com/2010/02/its-colorful-life-easy-fabric-dying.html

    3) I also side with Leca. I know it won't be easy to enforce at first, but I think it would be well worth it. Stay strong! Otherwise, I agree with trying to go outside with a monitor to hear your little one. Good luck!

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  26. #3 - My 29 month old son still naps every day for about two hours... my heart goes out to you, i don't know what i'll do when he gives it up!!
    But one activity that ALWAYS keep him busy on his own: play dough! We have some of the play dough sets with tools and molds and squirters, and he just has so much fun! He'll also take his play dishes and pretend to chop play dough and make dinner with it while i make our actual dinner. In that same vein, i've found that play food is a great toy for him - we have a set where the pieces velcro together and he uses his play knife to chop them in half. Over and over and over. He could do it for HOURS.
    Good luck!!

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  27. We got rid of the paci, cold turkey, at 18 mo. She had two pretty difficult days where she had to cry it out a little before bed and naps and was all around kind of cranky during the day, but after that it was smooth sailing. Probably about 4-5 days later I baby sat a 6 mo. old with a paci and my girl didn't pay any attention to it all.

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  28. For the 2 yr old during nap time for the younger one: try books on CD if you don't have time to sit down and read to them yourself. They could also being doing something else while listening. If they are listening to something they (might) not be noisy/talkative.

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  29. For the 2 yr old during nap time for the younger one: try books on CD if you don't have time to sit down and read to them yourself. They could also being doing something else while listening. If they are listening to something they (might) not be noisy/talkative.

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  30. In response to question number one:

    My son gave up his pacifier, at five or six months, and I think that I am to blame! I purchased the pacifiers with the texturized nipple (at Babies 'R' Us), and he hated them! The texture almost resembled the tread on a tire - yuck! He'd suck for a little bit...get mad...and throw the pacifier across the room! Success!

    Hope this helps!

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  31. #1 My daughter never took a paci, sometimes I would wish she did, but when all my friends were trying to get rid of their kids I was so glad that was one less fight I had to have. Good luck!

    #3 Nap time has always been a fight in our house. My daughter napped at the boob until 16 months when I weaned her. After that, on a good day she would scream for 15 min and sleep for 45. Before she turned 2 she stopped sleep all together, just screamed the whole time. I knew we BOTH needed that time apart from each other. She is a VERY clingy kid. I broke down and bought a portable DVD player and would put a DVD on very quietly. It started with things like Baby Einstein and a Barney music DVD that all had a continuous play feature. She stopped crying, and eventually went back to napping most days. She is now 33 months and although she doesn't sleep most days, she is in her crib (not sure what we'd do if she was in a toddler bed) at least 1 1/2 - 2 hrs. We are both so much happier after that down time. Good luck in whatever you decide!

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  32. I only have a suggestion for the nap time thing. I am a very strict mom when it comes to schedules. My now 2 1/2year old stopped taking her very scheduled, never missed naps at 1. I thought there was no way she would keep it up but after 2 weeks of wrestling her and being angry and her being so ornery I couldn't handle it. I decided to take my sister in laws advice and do a "quiet time". I put her in her bed/crib with books and a doll or two. And let her stay in there for the amount of time she would have normally napped, about 2 hours. (On a side note, I have a video monitor. It was way out of our budget but it has saved me more times than I can count. I didn't have to worry about her crying because I could see if it needed attention or not.) It not only gets me my break but it helps her learn to play by her self. Yes, there are days she cries and lays by the door waiting to get out... but those are the days she eventually does fall asleep for a little while. Of course this wouldn't work if they share a room, sorry, I just thought of that.

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  33. wow! Lots of great advice! One of my 2 1/2 year olds just did away with his 'soos'. It was the last one anywhere and he had bitten a hole in it. My husband said 'Uh Oh, it's broken, better throw it in the garbage!' And so my 2 1/2 year old did!!! The next day he asked for his soos while we were in the van.. I said 'remember it was broken and you threw it in the garbage?' he nodded and when we got home, went straight to the garbage can to see if it was still there LOL {luckily we had taken the garbasge out!}

    The non-napper? My kids LOVE the movie CARS so if they wont nap they will often have 'quiet time' to watch it. I also use play-dough and colouring as quiet time acivities {they'll usually buy me 1/2 hour}. Good luck to all! :P

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  34. wow! Lots of great advice! One of my 2 1/2 year olds just did away with his 'soos'. It was the last one anywhere and he had bitten a hole in it. My husband said 'Uh Oh, it's broken, better throw it in the garbage!' And so my 2 1/2 year old did!!! The next day he asked for his soos while we were in the van.. I said 'remember it was broken and you threw it in the garbage?' he nodded and when we got home, went straight to the garbage can to see if it was still there LOL {luckily we had taken the garbasge out!}

    The non-napper? My kids LOVE the movie CARS so if they wont nap they will often have 'quiet time' to watch it. I also use play-dough and colouring as quiet time acivities {they'll usually buy me 1/2 hour}. Good luck to all! :P

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  35. My daughter loved her paci and we told her at first she was only allowed to have it at nap/bedtime. Then after she'd fall asleep, we'd take it out of her mouth, then we stopped at naptime and eventually bedtime. We let her set the pace because we knew it was important to her. We'd try to distract her with reading book, snuggling, etc. Took about 2 months and because we did it slowly without traumatizing her, it was very easy in the end to let it go.

    As far as naptime, my daughter decided at 3 not to nap anymore but we also have an 18 month old who does and they share a room. She's allowed to watch a movie, play outside in the sandbox in the play yard, read books or play with her "crafts" that she doesn't usually get to have out when her brother is awake (playdough, paint, beads, etc). Sometimes she also likes to help me with chores but I also make sure I spend some 1-1 time with her during her brother's naptime.

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  36. The paci fairy worked like a charm for us and I NEVER thought we'd get rid of that thing. My daughter was one of those babies that literally had 5 in the bed with her at night and would switch them out involuntarily. She was 3 before we finally got rid of it. We talked about the paci fairy for probably a month or so then got a special box and stickers and let her decorate the box and then put the paci in it, along with a note that Mommy wrote to the paci fairy explaining that Gracie was ready to give her paci to another baby that needed it. She then got to mail it and then check the mail every day until her prize came from the paci fairy (in her case, it was a snow white dress up dress). She never cried about it being gone and was so excited whenever she saw another baby with a paci because she thought it "might" be hers that the fairy gave to them. I now have the decorated box, complete with note and paci inside to show her some day a long time from now and make her smile.

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  37. I came to your blog through You Are What You Keep, and just happened upon this post. I am laughing because we call the pacifier 'the Bop' too! I've never heard anyone else call it that!!

    I posted about this on my blog, in several parts, but essentially it came down to 'going cold turkey' for our daughter. Here's the first post, and the rest can be found via the links below this one:

    http://theazkahles.blogspot.com/2008/05/operation-stop-with-bop-part-1.html

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  38. We call it a bop too! I used to
    pull it out of my son's mouth and say "pop"
    and he just ended up calling it a bop! We just
    got rid of it when my son turned three. The
    "bop fairy" took it away and left a gift. It went
    great -- but now he's a thumb sucker. At least
    that's kind of cute!

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  39. we called the paci her 'sucky' because that's what she called it. I think. Possibly we called it that first and are total nincompoops. either or. ;)
    For the nap thing, here's what my SIL suggested to me with my two year old when she stopped napping... thing was, she wasn't really ready, she just would. not. nap. She was super cranky. So we'd go to mommy's bed and lay down and read books. I'd read her one book and then she had to 'read' on her own while I read. Generally within half an hour she was conked out and I could sneak off and do things like pee with the door close without causing an international scandal.
    Now she's three and she tells me she's tired and goes for naps on her own. Off and on, though.

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