June 11, 2011

Sharing Saturday

It's time for a Sharing Saturday!  It's been awhile.  Here are a few questions that I thought would be fun to answer.  Answer what you want and skip what you don't. 

1) How did your parents discipline you as a child?  If you are now a mother, do you discipline your children the same or what have you changed?


2) What is the nicest gift you have ever received?

3) What are you giving for father's day?


Thanks for sharing!  I love hearing your ideas and input!

45 comments:

  1. 1) My parents spanked me when I was little. Then when I got a little older, they would ground me, but they seemed to always "forget" and not hold to it after a couple of days. Then, by the time my brother and I were teenagers, there really seemed to be no discipline at all. They really seemed to just give up. My children are 2 and 4, and we do not spank. We do time outs and we take away privledges.

    2) I am horrible at thinking of things like this on the spot, but I will say that my friends and I have started a "Secret Pal" thing and I got some great anonymous gifts from my Pal. Including a massage, gift card to Hobby Lobby and a ton of chocolate! Love it!

    3) My hubby really needs a hobby, and he seems to like biking, so I'm going to get him some biking gear. Maybe a helmet and one of those water/backpack things.

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  2. 1. When I was young I was definitely spanked but as I got older they were kind of like Liz's parents. They just gave up. I just don't think they knew how to handle how we acted as we got older. I don't have children but I'm not going to spank them. I like to listen to what other people do though. It gives me ideas for the future.

    2. I can't think of a specific thing but my favorite gifts in the past are the ones completely unexpected but perfect or the ones that were made by the giver.

    3. I'm still trying to figure out what to get my dad! His hobby is carpentry so I'm trying to think of something along those lines.

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  3. 1. Haaahhhhohhh. Discipline. Oy. I definitely got spanked as a little kid (as in small tap on the hand or whatever). We do that sometimes with our four year old but less as she's gotten older - because she doesn't need it as much I think? We've had to get more creative as she's aged. We got to a point where we felt like we were yelling/giving time outs/taking away things all. the. time. and it just wasn't working. So we instituted a "red coin jar". Basically she could earn red marbles for good behaviour, or for helping out in some way - and they couldn't be taken away for negative behaviour. They are simply a reward for listening well; or for helping with something; etc. Then we made a "store" that we stocked with books, veggie tales movies, etc. and assigned a number to them - she can "buy" those things with her red coins. It actually has worked really well - it seemed to switch her out of the negative mode and it made us feel much better about things too.

    2. Gifts...huh. I'm not actually sure. My husband bought me a black pearl necklace on our honeymoon (we were in Fiji) and that's probably up there.

    3. I'm making a gigantic picnic blanket (using the "Hands Off my picnic blanket" tutorial the Katy from No Big Dill posted) with all of our hand and footprints on it. I also make him a wall calendar with pictures of the kids on it from the previous year. Other than that, I'm not sure...we'll see!

    Christy.

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  4. 1. My parents spanked us kids. We also were grounded, but they never stuck to that very often. No phone, or tv as well. Lots of time hanging out cleaning your room! I do spank my children, and they get timeouts as well. But I always make sure to tell them before, after, and during why they are in trouble. We say sorry a lot around here. If I loose my cool and yell like a crazy person I will apologize to my kids! Nobody's perfect!
    2. Favorite gift I've ever gotten....toss up between my tiffanys mom necklace or my ring.
    3. I ordered a personalized key chain for the hubby from the girls! Best 12 bucks I've ever spent at etsy :)

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  5. 1.) My parents make me "think about what I've done and how it was wrong and what I should do next time" It's infuriating, but I bet I'll end up using the same tactic on my children!

    2.) I got a set of encyclodedias what used to be my Grans last birthday and I love them!

    3.) I haven't yet... oops.......

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  6. 1. Wow! I want you guy's parents. lol. For some reason I was spanked but my younger brother was not.(8 yrs. younger) My dad was usually in charge of the punishments since I never took my mom seriously, and he was a big fan of THE BELT (and later on a whiffle ball bat). It really sounds a lot worse than it actually was. I'm the proof that spanking doesn't really work. By middle school it was all I could do not to laugh at them about it (not that it didn't hurt, you just got used to it). Now my daughter is almost 2 and we are doing a lot of time outs. I do still catch myself swatting her rump every now and again, but the diapers are so darn fluffy. The one thing I promise never to do to her is pull her hair. I always had really long hair and my parents said it was the easiest way to catch me, but that's just mean. (It's hilarious how my dad doesn't want his grand-baby punished now though. I must really have been a brat. lol)
    Giving my dad a bit of credit, he was spanked with a board when he was little so I'm glad I got off easier.

    2. My husband is terrible at giving presents even when I post a "Mommy would like..." list on the wall. But, on our first anniversary he got a kit and wrote a little board book with photos about how we met. It was perfect.

    3. This is a surprise, even to me! I better get started.

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  7. 1) My parents spanked when I was younger then did the grounding thing. My dad would always apologize after spanking to try to get the point across that it was just discipline and not hate for us, just our behavior. But, that just made me more mad!

    We use time out. When our son gets older we'll take away privileges. I think the key is just to put as little energy (a.k.a attention) into discipline as possible and as much of it as you can into rewards when things are going well. I think discipline should be quick and related to the undesirable behavior. I LOVE the book "Transforming the Difficult Child" by Howard Glasser (it's really for any parenting, not just difficult kids).

    2) My favorite gift was an anonymous one I got in College. Someone made my car payment for me at the bank, which was fantastic and meant I could buy groceries that month!

    3) I have no idea what to get for Father's Day. I'm normally a good gift giver and know exactly what to give... not this time :(

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  8. 1. I was spanked and grounded. My kids usually get time-outs sometimes I just yell from the other room. If they are really bad they might get a swat but it's rare.

    2. Best present ever, my serger. I told my hubby what he was getting me for my birthday after I ordered it. Lol.

    3. The hubs is probably getting love for Father's Day. (Maybe I can convince him another baby would be a great gift.)
    Or socks. I've seen some hole-y toes lately.

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  9. Love it!
    1.My parents were spankers. My dad would loose his temper and scream at you. I don't do anything like my parents. I am so against spanking and I never raise my voice at my children. I just remember how I felt when they did it to me and how all it did was alienate me from my father. I seriously just thought he hated me.

    2. The nicest gift was from hubby. He knows how much I love going to concerts, the theater, anything in the arts department. He surprised me with tickets to "Les Miserable" he even got a baby sitter:)

    3. Hubby is getting 8 treatments for lazer hair removal for the front of his neck. He has been wanting to do this for I don't even know how long.

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  10. 1. My parents were excellent disciplinarians. When I was young I was spanked or time out. As we got older we were sent to our rooms and told they were disappointed in us... that was so much worse than anything. One time I was sent to my room after doing something pretty horrible and had to sit in the dark. I just remember thinking, I wish they would say they hate me, it would feel better than this. We are trying to do the same with our little guys, I have trouble getting my hubby to be consistent, because his parents never were.

    2. Best gift... gosh, I can't think of anything my hubby gave me, because he's not overly good at that. But he did get me diamond earrings (in what looked like a ring box) when we were dating... I was disappointed it wasn't a ring, but love the earrings, I wear them everyday!

    3. For Father's Day I am giving my husband Tees, personalized golf balls, and a "golf certificate". I found all the ideas on blogs!! :) For my dad- no idea, but I have an extra week to come up with something for him. ;) My FIL is getting personalized golf balls, too.

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  11. 1. "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay
    2. a steam vacuum cleaner. I really wanted one.
    3. ties & a reservation at a campsite. Steak for dinner Sunday.

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  12. 1. i got spanked, although my mother denies it ever happened! it definitely did. with our two-year-old, we've 'spanked' (a tap on his bare bottom), and it really does work to change his behavior. we don't do it in anger, though, and it's only when he's intentionally doing something he knows he shouldn't.

    2. best gift: (here's the back story:) i had my 'strawberry blanket' since i was born. actually, it was a comforter that was on my parents bed that they gave to me when i moved to a big-girl bed. i took it with me to college, to weekend music festivals... almost everywhere. it was the best blanket ever. 4 summers ago we put everything we owned in storage for a few months and i didn't take the blanket with me, and wouldn't you know, we were robbed. why someone would take that ratty old blanket is beyond me, but they did. okay, long story short... i was devastated. then 3 years ago for christmas, my mom realized she had the matching sheets from the original comforter. she made me a replacement strawberry blanket! that was absolutely hands-down the best gift ever.

    3. i'm giving my husband a cutting board made by an artisan in california, and some bar equipment. he's a tiki enthusiast.

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  13. Love reading these...
    1. I was spanked as a child and being raised as a good ol Southern Baptist, I also *knew* that those bad things I had done could send me to that hot place down below the earth! :)
    I do spank my kids (I have 3), but taking away activities and things they like seems to have much more of a lasting impact on their behavior. So we spank, but less frequently than we used to.

    2. Best gift would have to be 4th row seats to a Bon Jovi concert in a far away city for me and my best friend (who also lives in a far away city). He flew she and I to the concert, got us VIP passes, super hotel and told us to just have fun. It was the very best weekend I'd had in a loooong time. Plus I shared it with my very best friend of 27 years.

    3. Haven't gotten my husband anything for Father's Day! I'd better get on the stick!

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  14. 1. I was raised using gentle discipline and plan to do the same with my child(ren). I love the book "Playful Parenting" and the website www.naturalchild.org and of course the forums at kellymom.com

    2. The best gift I've ever received is my family - my husband and 14 month old little boy. I couldn't imagine life now not being a mama. Probably the best material gifts I've received include my sewing machine and Mac.

    3. We are giving daddy some photo gifts for his new office at work.

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  15. 3) I'm giving my husband one of those DIY garden stones. We made up a song that we sing to our daughter, "Mary Berry is so sweet, Mary Berry has two feet"...so I'm putting her footprints on it, and maybe that whole line too.

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  16. 1- My parents were spankers as kids, but my dad realized after a while that telling me he was disappointed in me was much more effective. Later on, they used logical consequences as much as possible, or took some time to deermine what would sting the most to lose as a privelege.

    2- This Christmas, my husband stood in line at6 in the morning on black friday toget me a cricut that was in our budget. It's almost as much about the standing in line at JoAnn's because he loves me.

    3- we're starting a tradition of making my husband and our two boys matching ties. My oldest son chose the fabric this year- brightly colored dino print.

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  17. 1) I don't know how she did it but some how my mom only ever needed to glare and then she would whisper and point at me... It scared the begeezes out of me and I stopped what ever it was I was doing. She's says I make the same face haha... I am the youngest of 4 though... so that might have something to do with it I learned from my siblings mistakes...

    2) For Christmas last year my husband and mom bought me a DSLR camera! We were thinking about getting one but he convinced me that we were just going to have to wait a while... then Christmas morning he "forgot" a present... went to the back room brought out a red gift bag, inside was the camera!

    3) I think I'm going to make flower pots with neck ties on them and fill them with my hubby's favorite candy and snacks for his desk at work :D or I'll try Our Best Bites Top Pop, pop tops... such a great idea! http://www.ourbestbites.com/2011/06/tin-can-treats-fathers-day-edition/

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  18. 1.) My parents spanked. And I spank my daughter. When it is the best option. She's 2. So when she's an out-of-control animal the spank is all that will work. But basically I do whatever will work. Timeout. Taking away a precious toy. She really responds when she sees that she's upset us or hurt our feelings by her actions.

    3.) Father's Day is so tough to figure out gifts! Since having children, I do a photo shoot every Mother's and Father's Day times and give them photos in their cards as part of their gift. They all seem to enjoy that. :)

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  19. Christy
    1. My parents spanked us. And I am proof that it works. lol Since I believe that worked for me and my sister, I do spank my children when I believe it is needed. We also take away things sometime. I believe every situation, and family, are different. What works for one family or child, will not work for another.

    2. My husband bought me some princess cut diamond earrings for mother's day a few years ago. I LOVE them but don't wear them often because I am too scared to loose one. lol

    3. I am just going to give hubby some money to go towards his Jeep fix up. For my father, a bible concordance that is yet to be bought....guess I better get to the store soon!

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  20. 1) I'm one of 8 kids and I'm pretty sure my parents tried everything. I've been spanked (rarely), had my hair pulled, put in time out, sent to my room, had privileges taken away and been grounded. I'm sure each has worked at one time or another. I now have 3 girls and we haven't been consistent with anything but showers. Don't think I'm a bad mom but once our girls seem to understand right/wrong (well basically) the big naughty things like hitting or biting or throwing major tantrums are best alleviated by holding them in a cold shower for a few seconds. (no drowning or anything going on) then as we dry them off, help them out of their wet clothes and into dry ones we are able to sit with them individually and talk through the problem. It has worked wonders and helps them to calm down and listen better than time outs or spanking ever has.

    2) There are too many wonderful gifts to list. But probably my piano.

    3) My girls actually are helping personalize a Best. Dad. EVER! mousepad using freezer paper stenciling. My 4 year old wrote out the words for the stencil and they each painted a picture on it for him. Throw in a Toblerone and he's a happy papa!

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  21. I want to answer the 1st question about discipline. My brothers and I were raised by a single mom who spanked some, added extra chores some and took away privileges some. She never gave up, and my brothers and I turned out to be nice adults. I parent a lot like her, but not exactly.
    The best thing she did for all of us, though, was give us when we had our first child a copy of the book, Parenting with Love and Logic. I read it out loud to my husband on a family trip and we discussed it as I read. We only had one sweet baby girl at the time. Because we did that, we are mostly on the same page when it comes to discipline.
    I think having parents united in the discipline is the first key. The second thing that is crucial is that the child is always treated with respect even when he is in trouble. Also, I think that when a parent is upset at a child, he should ask himself, "What behavior do I want this child to display?" What can I help him do to practice this correct behavior?" These two questions keep the parent on the proactive, positive side of discipline and keeps him far away from physical or emotional abuse. Finally it is imperative that a parent follow through on what she says.
    Recent discipline for some of my six children have included:
    requiring my 8-year-old so to help me repair window screens in addition to his normal chores because he was dorking around instead of working on a bathroom
    having my 3-year-old son practice putting away toys because he ran away and refused when I told him to clean up
    assessing my 14-year-old daughter a management fee because I had to manage her to help her complete her huge homework assignment (this is a deduction from her allowance)
    not allowing my 11-year-old son to play with friends after school until he had completed and turned in his missing school assignments
    Isn't parenting a great adventure!

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  22. 3) I'm due with our first child tomorrow .. . so hopefully she'll come before next sunday. :) I think that's the best present he'll get.

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  23. 1. We were usually put in time out and had to stare at each other which was torture! My parents did have a black paddle which was a 2x4 wrapped in black electrical tape. We were never hit with it but the sound of that thing hitting the bed was terrifying!

    We use time outs for now. She gets a slapped hand if she does something that could seriously injure her; like running in front of a car for example. I want her to correlate hurt with those situations.

    2. Best present I ever received was a popcorn popper from my husband. It's almost as good as the movie theater...although I think they must add some special addicting substance. That popcorn is the best part of going to the movies.

    3. My husband wants an array of woodworking tools. But I will probably come up with something clever. I was thinking date night at a rock concert :D Nothing beats just you and the husband and Poison...just sayin!

    No idea what in the world I am getting my dad or his dad probably something handmade from the grandbaby :]

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  24. I second the Love and Logic. I taught high school for ten years and love and logic works well for teenagers. I've found it less effective on my young children--they're less capable of logic. My parents spanked a little, but they perfected the guilt trip. It just made us passive aggressive. I really liked what I read in 1-2-3 Magic, but I think each personality needs a different type of discipline. We usually offer rewards for good behavior and take away something for bad behavior. Time our doesn't seem to work for our kids--they go willingly to time out.

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  25. I don't really like to think about it but my parents were pretty severe when it came to discipline. Mom would often say, "Don't make me go get daddy's belt." One time a brush was broken over one of my siblings backside. My mother actually got so angry with me once she put both hands around my neck while shaking me and screaming. As you can imagine my childhood wasn't the most rosy time. I have really tried to change the cycle of abuse in the name of discipline. I have spanked my three year old on occasion, really regretting it afterwards. I try to handle temper tantrums or undesirable behavior by simply telling my son, very calmly, that I think he needs a break and send him to his break chair. (Not naughty chair, or time out chair that implies he is a bad kid.)In his break chair he either reads a book or sings a song. When he and I are feeling ready to talk I ask him what the problem was and I help him express how he was feeling. Yelling at him or spanking only makes him act out even more and gets us no where. I am trying to teach him how to control his emotions and be able to effectively communicate his needs. Not teach him when he is angry enough it is ok to lash out and lose control and that is what spanking is for me personally.

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  26. 1) I grew up in a extremely volatile home where discipline was swift & painful. Spankings were frequent, beatings not unknown. I swore that I would never strike or say hateful things to my children. I have kept that promise. On the other hand, I do believe in good order & discipline. After much reading and some professional help, we have found that logical consequences & modeling appropriate behavior works wonders.

    2) My two favorite gifts of all time are a case of Ring Dings in my teens, and Edith Wharton's "The Buccaneers" my first Xmas with Hubby. Both gifts were total surprises that showed that the gentleman in question really was listening.

    3) My Dad passed away some time ago. The boys and I are giving Hubby a collection of all of the Star Trek movies (original & Next Generation) as well as a framed scan of the cover of his first book (just released this last week). Hubby is giving his Dad a copy of the book with a sweet inscription inside the cover.

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  27. 1. I was spanked occasionally, which was rare and I usually had it coming to me. We had time outs and then privileges given or taken away based on behavior, which really worked. My mom was the real disciplinarian and all she had to do was say my sister or my name and we knew it was all over. We were pretty obedient, but I am sure that was because we knew that my mom followed through on her word. We knew that if we talked back or didn't do our chores, we wouldn't be playing with friends. We also knew that if we were super helpful, our parents would be much more inclined to let us do the things we wanted.

    2. My grandfather made me a kaleidoscope out of glass that looks like an airplane and really works. It is beautiful and more importantly was made by him and holds my memories of him.

    3. My dad is getting a new cordless drill this year, since his old one just broke. Not exciting for me to give, but he's practical by nature and doesn't like gifts that aren't useful, so he will be tickled pink!

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  28. 1) When I was really little, I was maybe spanked a few times, but I don't actually remember it at all. My mom had a bit more of a temper and could lose her cool, while my dad had all the patience in the world. I place myself somewhere in the middle, but more toward my dad.

    Personally, I don't believe in spanking or yelling. (Not judging others' parenting styles, just stating my own.) I'm also a teacher and have worked with kids aged 1 to 5 in both childcare and school settings, and obviously in those positions spanking is completely unacceptable and yelling is not looked kindly on. But, honestly, if a time-out or logical consequence doesn't work for a child, chances are spanking won't either because the root of the problem runs deeper.

    To me, discipline should be about consequences, not "punishment". Punishment is about bringing shame/pain/etc., while consequences are about teaching. I want my child to learn to manage their anger without resorting to hitting or yelling, so why would I set the example of hitting (spanking) or yelling when I'm angry? When I'm upset at a child - mine or a student - I sometimes have to take a minute and literally tell myself in my head, "I am the adult. I can control my behavior." That's all it takes to cool down so that I can address the issue firmly, but with reason, care, and respect.

    I'm not perfect - I have had a few "Do as I say, not as I do" moments here and there. But I try to apologize when necessary and take the calm, rational approach next time. Also, I think it's very important to give the child the appropriate alternative. I try not to just tell them what they shouldn't do, but also what they SHOULD do when they are in this situation again.

    (Sorry - this was way longer than I expected!)

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  29. great questions!
    1. we totally got spanked as kiddos, but never out of anger and then after our parents would sit us down and tell us that they loved us. as we grew up we got grounded and had serious talking to's. we were, and still are, a very open family. as long and painful as some of those talks were, they were essential! i remember a few times when i was a teenager and said some pretty foul-mouthed, sassy things to my mom she cracked me across the face- I DESERVED it EVERY single time. and i never forgot it, but in a good way. both me and my husband got spanked when we were kids and if our twins (which i'm pregnant with) have our same personalitites then i am certain they will get spankings as well. but never out of anger- we really believe that is the key.

    2.best gift ever was my studio Beats by Dr. Dre. they are kinda gangster looking but the sound quality is PHENOMENAL and my passion for music is intense so there is nothing i enjoy more than getting a new album and listening to it with my headphones on, tuning out everything else:)

    3. we always get my dad a new dictionary, he is a wordsmith and LOVES reading them- it's quite bizarre but whatever float your boat right? we always make homemade cards and those are what really hit home. a nice heat-felt letter goes a long way. He saves them all. and my father is NOT a pack-rat.

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  30. 1. It's funny you would ask this question since we recently filled out our final adoption paperwork and it included many questions like this. My mom set high expectations and expected us to follow them. If we didn't meet those expectations, we lost privileges (time out is a loss of privilege - the one to play at the moment). We then discussed the issue and how we could keep this from happening in the future. I will discipline my children in a very similar fashion.

    2. For Mother's Day, my best friend sent me a charm bracelet from The Vintage Pearl, on the bracelet was a charm with the name of my daughter who was stillborn in May of 2010. She also included a note saying that she would be adding a charm for each of our future children including the two we are hoping to get this year. Although I have a necklace with my daughter 's footprints, it's nice to have a piece of jewelry that will include all of my kids.

    3. I have no clue! I want to get something good since it's hard to feel like a Dad (or Mom) when your only baby is an angel. Last year I gave him some Piggies and Paws prints that we took at the hospital (I talked the artist, my friend, into making them in time for Father's Day). Let me know if you have any suggestions!

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  31. 1) My mom did most of the disciplining but, we knew to obey around my dad and if we did get "in trouble" with him. He was somewhat of a softy when it came to the punishment :) My mom was never a fan of time out. She spanked us (in private so not to embarrass us)and then gave a good talking to. She is a firm believer in correcting the child quickly and moving on with the day. But if it is an ongoing thing throughout the day she would set us down for a bit and then come so sweetly and say "What is going on?" and just listen. I loved the way mom parented and I am pretty much the same! :) Everything was done firmly but with love. She can be in charge of 12 kids in a crowded amusement park and they are all the best behaved and happy little things. I hope I turn out like her!

    2) I can't think of the BEST gift but a great gift I remember is when my husband made me a plaque with conversation hearts and puffy paint. It was a little love poem. So sweet!

    3) Not too sure what I am getting my dad. We are going to get my husband a tshirt from the college he is now attending. He decided awhile back that after 11 years he needed to go back to school! So proud of him! 18 credit hours and a 60+ hour a week job (that always calls when he is about to get some rest) = one tired guy!

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  32. 1. I got spanked & usually with a belt (the thinner ones hurt more). I do not do this, with my children. I have spanked my son 3 times and my daughter 2, but usually due to a situation that merits fear, such as running away from me in a public place or running into traffic (you get the picture). We try to punish with consequences. Sometimes I wonder if we spare the rod too much, as my children do not always listen as I would like, but in the grand scheme of things they are AMAZING children and I have to remember just that, "they are children". Repetition is key, right? I also apologize to my kids, when I find myself yelling or losing control, as I want them to know I'm not perfect, nor do I expect them to be perfect. We try to model the behavior we expect, as well as talk with them about our expectations, etc.

    2. I don't know that I have a "nicest" gift, either. I have been very blessed in my life, to receive many gifts that I consider nice & can't think of one that stands out above the rest. That said, I just watched Kit Kittredge (an American Girl movie), with my daughter & am feel very blessed for everything in my life, as the movie was set in the Great Depression. The greatest gift I ever received, would have to be my family: my husband & kids. My greatest gifts are those that God has given and the christian influences in my childhood, leading me to him. Along that same line, I did receive a forest green, leather bound bible, with my name embossed in gold on the cover; it was a gift, when I went away to college, from my aunt & uncle and it meant a great deal to me. My husband actually borrowed the bible from me & has never given it back!

    3. I do not have a close relationship with my father, so I will not be giving him a gift. I always give my husband a day to himself, for Father's Day, to use when he wishes & he does the same for me, on Mother's Day (it's in our budget & treasured by the both of us! ) I will most likely have the kids make something for him. Once year, I took them to a local pottery painting studio & had them paint a bowl for him, that he can use to eat his cereal in, every morning.

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  33. 1. I totally got spanked when I was little...then grounded...I know have a 2 year old...me and my hubby do time-outs on the couch, but sometimes that doesn't seem to work. If he gets time outs in the crib and we leave the room, he tends to make himself throw-up, in which, he gets spanked on the hand...sometimes I feel like I'm at my wits-end trying to figure out what does and doesn't work....
    2. I always enjoy gifts. I really can't think of one that was more special than another...
    3. For father's day my hubby is getting a collage portrait of his son. Sears is always doing free portraits with no sitting fee (and since I'm not working and he is the sole provider, I can't really see spending BIG BUCKS on a gift because it's like he's buying it for himself). He doesn't know that the baby took pics so I hope he is as excited as I am when I give it to him!

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  34. 1. I was spanked as a kid, and then grounded as I got older. However, I was a pretty good kid and was not in trouble too often.

    I use time-outs, but I do hold my kids to pretty high standards (I am told). My mom actually called me mean once b/c I insist that my 3 year old daughter make her bed neatly every morning before she can play. However, my mom has also told me that she appreciates the way we discipline our kids b/c they are well behaved and easier to baby sit!

    Anyway, I try to do natural consequences as much as possible, but other wise, time out is my go-to. I do yell sometimes out of laziness, but I have been trying to break the habit. When I notice myself yelling at my kids then I apologize and I usually make a mental note that I need to put them in time out sooner next time. Recently I made that realization and I actually explained it to my 3 year old. I told her that I was going to put her in time out more often so that I could teach her the things she needed to learn and not yell at her. Since that conversation she has been getting in time out a LOT, but I have been very calm every time and talked with her about her behavior. One time she actually said, "Mom, you are putting me in time out so that you don't need to yell." I do talk to my kids about how I am their mom and its my job to teach them and that is why I discipline them. They respond very well.

    2. The best gift that I ever received was a charm bracelet from my husband for Mother's Day when my oldest was just a baby. It came with one charm on it, a heart with her birthstone, and then as each of my kids has been born I've gotten another charm. I love it and I wear it every day. My kids love it too and they like to explain to me over and over again which charm is for which child. We want to have a big family, so I can't wait until I can fill it all up with dangling charms!

    3. For Father's Day, I wanted to get my husband a big fancy grill b/c he loves to cook and we don't have an outdoor grill at all. However, we can't afford it, so I got him a Hibatchi! I figure that its the thought that counts and this will tide him over until we can afford the big one. And when we do, we'll still have the little one to take camping.

    Usually, I would have the kids make him something. So, I thought I would have them decorate an apron for him to go with the grill, but I didn't want to make one so I was looking for a plain colored one that I could buy. Anyway, while I was looking I found one that says: "Real men don't use recipes." My husband loves to cook, but he seems to think that its wimpy to use a recipe, so that was perfect for him, so I bought it and that's from the kids.

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  35. 1. I only remember being spanked {actually slapped on the mouth} once when I was a teenager. I told my mom she was a jerk and that I hated her and my Dad slapped my mouth. Honestly, I deserved it and he apologized to me later, but it shocked me so much, because we weren't spanked often that it slapped the brattiness right out of me. My parents were very strict in comparison to my friends parents and most of my friends were somewhat afraid of my Dad {especially guys}. I could write a novel {apparently} on the creative parenting my Dad came up with. He didn't read books on this stuff. One time he paid my younger two brothers to babysit my older sister. Because she had a bf over that they didn't really like and they had to run errands. It was a great plan. The one brother yelled to the other to come here. While sitting right in between my sister and her bf he yelled, "I can't. Dad said I can't leave them alone, or I won't get paid." That boy stopped coming around. And that my friends is how parents across the country could prevent teenagers getting in trouble. He just came by it naturally. There was a lot of love and a healthy amount of fear, that kept us in line.

    I have 4 children, ranging in ages from 10.5 down to 2.5. I will say that I have tried MANY different forms of discipline. Our oldest has certainly given us a run for our money. I discipline each of my children a little differently. My 8 year old daughter only needs a look of disappointment. My 10 year old often has all privileges revoked and is sent to his room a LOT. I have found that spanking is only effective when used sparingly when they are younger {like a baby going to touch a light socket, or run in the street, etc.}

    I have to get quite creative. Honestly, I think the best thing I do is charge them for bad behavior. They pay in extra chores, money, or toys. My kids are expected to work a lot. Compared to the majority of their friends they do at least double {if not more} the amount of chores. I tell them we are part of a family and we help each other. I love to tell them what life would be like if they lived on a farm and that they have it easy. {I think they're slightly worried that we'll move to a farm if they don't do the work expected of them :)}.

    In a nutshell, the best form of discipline, in my opinion, as they get older is a loss of privileges and extra work. When they are younger a healthy dose of patience and time spent redirecting.

    2. The best most surprising gift I've ever received was for my birthday. It was not expensive, but surprising. A couple of weeks before my birthday my husband and I were out shopping. I casually mentioned as we walked by a dress hanging on the rack, that I thought it was pretty. He got me that dress and it fit perfectly. It was like something out of a movie.

    3. My husband is a very frugal guy and the best gift I can give him is to shower him with love, delicious food, and handmade cards.

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  36. 1) I'm an Indian and Indians spank their kids real bad! :p My parents were really civilized, but I did my share of spanking! But these spanking episodes were followed by my parents sobbing through the night feeling guilty for spanking us :( I'm glad my parents spanked me as a kid, that helped discipline me! My mom is my best friend and I share all my secrets with her! My parents were not ruthless, they didn't hit me for any silly reason. And trust me I was such a brat! When I have kids of my own, I'm gonna do just what my parents did! :)

    2) The best gift I ever got? Hmmm...lets see...when my little bro was born, my relatives got gifts for him. My dad didn't want me to feel left out so he bought me a cute pack of sketch pens and he hid them in my cupboard. :)

    3) For Father's Day, I'm gonna cook a meal for him and spend the whole day with him! I haven't thought of a gift yet, though.

    Alia
    http://aliascreativelife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  37. 1) Discipline was the belt, and my mom sometimes spanked. We'd get the belt, and then the mere threat was awful enough.

    My parents did a good job of randomly reinforcing positive behavior (which is how I want to be with my kids). If we got A's and B's, he let us get any book we wanted. Sometimes he'd get us a cookie from the mall. Basically, we were never SURE when he'd do it, which is what worked.

    2) The great gift I've ever received was a sewing machine! Or, as of Thursday, a puppy!!

    3) I have no clue what to get for my dad. He loves Amazon, so maybe a gift card. He's also big on riding bicycles, so I may make him cake balls (which he loves) with chocolate piped bikes? lol. No clue.

    ReplyDelete
  38. 1. I was spanked as a child. Only my mom spanked me, my dad had a temper with yelling so I try not to ever lose my cool with my daughter since I feel like that really impacted me. My daughter is almost 2 though, so it's hard at times. We do spank her, we've only done it a few times and she has yet to understand what it means. She thinks it's funny... So we mainly just do time outs and take away certain things. She is rewarded for good behavior, which she definitely understands!

    2. When my husband and I had just started dating, probably for only a few weeks, he bought me front row & center tickets to one of my favorite bands. It was one of the best nights of my life, and I'll never forget it!

    3. My husband home brews beer, so I am giving him a set of custom beer glasses, as well as a gift certificate for a massage. He's never had one before, can you believe it?! I hope he likes it!

    ReplyDelete
  39. It's so interesting reading everybody's answers to the first question!

    1.My Mom spanked me as a child, and then grounded me when I was older. She was not one of the parents to slack off on grounding! I had a tendency to try and lie away the bad things I did, which was the worst thing a person can do in my mom's eyes, so I was grounded for months, literally. I had one amazing friend who was like family that was still allowed to come over when I was grounded, but that was it. It sounds harsh, and I felt quite hard-done-by at the time, but I really deserved it and I'm glad she taught me that I couldn't just walk all over her. I just give time outs and take privileges away. I am totally not ok with spanking, mostly because once when I was a child, my mom got a little too angry and hit me harder than she would have in her right mind. She apologized excessively and begged me to hide the bruise, which I did. I think that hitting as a punishment opens up more of a potential for loss of control (in a very harmful way), can ruin your child's trust in you, make your child afraid of you, and also teach your child that hitting is ok (or at least make it very confusing when you tell them it isn't). While I have long since forgiven that incident with my mother, I know that it caused a lot of issues in my later childhood and teen years.

    2.The best gift I ever received was concert tickets. While I don't even listen to the band anymore, it was really the situation that was the best. I was 15 or 16 and had caused my mom so much trouble that when she and my step-dad would go to their cottage on weekends I either had to come along or stay with my dad. My most favourite band at the time was playing at a music festival that was located about half way in between our house and the cottage. I wanted to go more than anything, but knew that it wasn't happening because I had caused so much trouble for my family. But when I woke up on the day of the show, my mom was sitting on the edge of my bed and she said, "I have an early birthday present for you, do you want to go to that concert?" My older sister was camping at the music festival (and was an angel) so my mom dropped me off for the evening. Needless to say, I was ecstatic.

    3. Probably just making a nice meal for my little guy's dad, because I'm a poor student! And I made a monogrammed golf towel for my dad.

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  40. i love reading these responses!

    1) my dad won us over with kindness to the point where if we ever wronged him we felt so horrible. it was definitely incentive enough to be "good". I hope hope hope to figure out how he did this and do it with the kid!
    during the teenage years, the best thing my mom did was insist on honesty in exchange for never judging me. I could talk to her about anything and I knew she wouldn't get mad. this also is something I will try to do.

    2) either my chariot stroller or very special cranberry stained glass box from a bunch of friends.

    3)a photo card of his daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  41. This is tough for me to answer because I don't like to talk about my childhood that much but I'll try :)...

    1. Spanking, and other methods that in short aren't very healthy. Not physical abuse but...

    As for us. We use time out. My husband's dad didn't spank but he flicked their heads - they call it thumping. My husband uses that sometimes and he knows I hate it when he does...but could be much worse. We mostly do time out for when they need a minute to calm down or when my oldest is talking back and needs to be alone for a while to think about what he's feeling. For other things we use natural consequences like a privilege being removed, not being able to do something until x amount of toys are picked up or a chore is done, etc. I try to focus on teaching, rather than forcing, but although that's my focus I am far from perfect. In short. We say sorry a lot around here and I like that my kids know we are all, including mom and dad, striving to do our best. And we all need to repent.

    2. Best gift? My engagement ring. Okay..that sounds like such an obvious answer but I'm admittedly kind of boring like that :). I love that Jared saved up to buy it so he didn't go into debt for it. He got exactly the right one - not too ostentatious but a nice sized princess cut ring, simple and sweet just how I like it. AND he didn't tell his family at all that he was saving up for a ring and that he wanted to propose to me. He can't keep secrets from his siblings very well - who he is very close with - and he kept this from them. For some reason it made me feel like he really chose me completely on his own without having to ask anyone else {except Heavenly Father} if it was the right choice.

    I am pretty protective of it and only wear it on Sundays. I have heard too many stories of women's ring prongs wearing down and of them losing their diamond. I almost couldn't bear it if that happened to me.

    3. We are usually predictable in our gift giving to each other - not always but most of the time. He already knows he's getting Dan in Real Life {our favorite movie}, homemade doughnuts for breakfast, some kind of chicken wing or steak dinner with his favorite root beer - Weinhardts, and a few shirts that are a surprise. :) I'll have the boys whip up some crafts for him too.

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  42. 1. We definately got spanked with hands, belts, wooden spoons, and as we got older we were grounded. Being grounded really worked for me.
    For the kids, we do spank, but only in extreme circumstances and only with our hand. I refuse to "use something" to spank them. Grounding works for my 8 year old daughter-no Nook, no tv.

    2. I have gotten lots of great gifts over the years, but the one that will forever be with me is my 1 carat diamond earrings my grandfather gave me for high school graduation. He gave them to me while he was in the hospital about to pass. I had a second hole pierced in my ears just for themand they have not come out in 18 years.

    Most recently it was the wine club membership and concert tickets my hubby and kids got me for Mother's Day!!

    3. My husband owns several restaurants, most of which are pizza places. I bought him sterling silver pizza slice cuff links. Thekids are making him giftsm but they are keeping them secret, even from me!!

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  43. Discipline. Who needed discipline, I was an angel. Serious. Nah, spankings but by the time I was a teen, they weren't needed anymore.
    (2) Best gift ever - tough one, but I have to say unconditional love. But materialisticly...hmmm...my wedding present from my husband was a diamond necklace and I still luv that a lot.
    (3) Father's day - clothes, dinner, i'd like a cool pic of the kids. I wanted to do a video to his favorite Darius Rucker song but I slacked. But if he goes out the house this week, I may still be able to swing it.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I am just answereing Number 2, because it is so worth sharing.
    For Christmas this last year my husband gave me a portable car battery charger. BEST GIFT EVER. I have 4 kiddos, and I swear at least once a week one of them goes looking for something in the minivan and leaves the lights on. It is the hugest pain to find someone to jump my car. So now I have this battery charger that I just keep in the back of the van, and when I have my weekly dead battery, I just hook up the charger and start the car. It is seriously amazing! BEST GIFT EVER! And every time I use it, I send my husband a text that says "BEST GIFT EVER"!

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  45. I know I'm late to the party, but just had to chime in!

    1. We were spanked pretty rarely when I was pretty young. My dad was a big softie. I got into swimming when I was 10 and to be honest, that kept me busy and out of trouble right through high school and even in college.

    2. best gift. hmmm. Probably cheesey, but honestly being able to watch my girls grow.

    3. the girls made him a nice card and some cookies (and then promptly ate them) ha!

    ReplyDelete

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