April 02, 2011

Soapbox AND Sharing Saturday

I thought it would be fun to share a new store I've been checking out lately.  It's very possible that I've been living under a rock and you've been shopping there for years, but it's new to me.  It's called Modcloth and they have some fun, unique clothing and accessories. 

 

Here's a quick peek at some of the things I'm admiring.  Love the bold orange shirt.  What a sweet modest swimsuit.  I like a pretty feminine cardigan.


These next ones are all in the sale section.  I'm a sucker for a cute jacket and who doesn't love yellow?  Love this classic cardigan.  They even have cool wallpaper.  That's awesome.


If you feel like doing a little fun spring shopping just head over to ModCloth.com.  See you there.

Okay, before you go we have a reader who needs some help/ideas.  Here's the prob.

My daughter is 19 months old and we used to live in a small apartment with no tub. She actually loved taking showers when she got too big and squirmy for the sink. We recently (a month ago) moved into a larger apartment and it has a tub! She is deathly afraid of taking baths now. I even tried a shower, but no go. She will go in it without water, but if I reach for the faucet she starts crying and shaking. I have been sponge bathing her and even that makes her cry and try to run away! I have had a month of fighting to take a bath or sponge bathe and I just don't know what to do.
I have been advised to:

- give her her binky-didn't help
- go in the tub with her-she didn't care, she wanted out!
- make sure there are lots of toys/bubbles-she wanted nothing to do with them
- test the water-as always, I have the bath thermometer and I test with my wrist


There is nothing I can think of that could have made her afraid. No slipping, falling, or oopsies about the water temp.  I hope someone else has been through this or can give me some advice.

If you have some advice for Lauren please leave a comment here.  Thanks for dropping in!

49 comments:

  1. Great stuff to look at! I really like that style swimsuit too. About the bathtub, has the girl gone swimming yet? Maybe putting her in her swimsuit would make it less frightening...

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  2. My daughter went through a phase like that around two. It would take myself and my husband to keep her in the tub. I purchased the Crayola wonder tub tablets to turn the water a different color- and let her choose the color and throw it in the tub, and also the bathtub crayons so she could color on the tub walls- although I've heard they don't come off of tile.

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  3. I would give it up completely so she doesn't feel pressured. I would wash hands and faces with washcloths, and clean the diaper area with baby wipes. I'd also take baths quite frequently and let her see me, without talking much about it. If she wants to stick her hands in while you're soaking let her, and don't worry about water on the floor or her clothes. All that can be cleaned.
    Most of all I would stop talking about it completely. She feels your anxiety and if you're anxious about it then there must surely be some danger :-)

    If she doesn't mind taking showers with you still, even in the tub, I would do a shower bath, which we sometimes do. Let the shower water pool up in the bathtub. It takes a while to get any decent amount, and you don't have to use soap if you don't want her sitting in it. It's not to get her or you clean but to just get used and comfy with the tub itself.

    PS. Sponge baths make me scream too. You'd be surprised how quickly the body cooles out, and the drying water on your skin just itches and... not enjoyable at all!

    Good luck, and let me tell you, this too shall pass.

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  4. Re: Toddler being afraid of the bath - We went through a similar thing. Lasted a couple of months - and we just had to take showers with her (holding her), which she was okay with, until slowly she became comfortable again- we would change the shower into a bath, and start by barely filling it up, and slowly the fear went away. Here is an article I read from the baby center website about it. Apparently, it is common!

    http://www.babycenter.com/404_my-toddler-used-to-love-baths-but-now-she-screams-when-i-try_12661.bc

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  5. I totally agree with ACW :)
    Good luck!

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  6. Can you buy/borrow a baby bathtub from someone and try that? You could place it inside the big bathtub and let her splash/play in it first, then maybe she'd agree to sit in it.

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  7. Have you tried having the bath filled already with a bucket of warm water to use sitting next to the tub, so you don't turn the faucet on? It sounds like the faucet is the biggest fear. Do you have a faucet cover?

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  8. You could try "reconditioning" the bathtub experience by associating it with something she really likes. I used to let my boys eat popsicles (the homemade fruit juice kind!) while they were in the bathtub. Two advantages of that: it keeps their minds off all that annoying cleaning stuff (!) and it keeps the drippy mess of popsicles in the bathtub--always a plus for mommy!
    : )
    Or if you have a laptop that you could play a video on, try letting her watch a special show while she's in there. It might keep her mind off the water long enough to let her accidentally get used to it.
    Good luck!

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  9. Have you tried having the bath filled already with a bucket of warm water to use sitting next to the tub, so you don't turn the faucet on? It sounds like the faucet is the biggest fear. Do you have a faucet cover?

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  10. My son went thru something like this when he was 2, he was afraid to brush his teeth. Fear is something children have to learn to deal with, they also need to learn they can trust their parents and work their way thru the fear. I suggest making the tub experience as inciting as possible with a toy that you can only play with in the tub and praising and assuring her that she is doing great. I also suggest you give her some warning prior to bath time, a countdown or some kind of ritual. After wards hold her and snuggle and talk about how she was afraid and she got thru it and you were with her the whole way. Sometimes our children react in a way and we try to link it to that very thing, it be that she is reacting this way due to other changes. Maybe the move, change in work schedule whatever something that makes her feel insecure. Good luck and hang in there mama, this too will pass!

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  11. We went through something similar transitioning our daughter from her baby tub to the big bath, even though she loves water and pools. I had to let her watch the tub fill, safely outside the tub with her clothes on (no pressure), and then let her lean over the edge and play with the standing water. The first time we did this, she did not want to get in the bath, but the second time she agreed to get in and we have been in the big tub ever since. Try a few different approaches until you find something that doesn't make her scream, and gently ease towards normal from there.

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  12. My son went through that phase a little before age two, and so have several of my friend's kids.

    Kids have to get clean, just stick to your guns. Get the bath done quickly and act like it's no big deal. Soon she will be over it and like baths again.

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  13. I definitely lean more towards what Ms. Smartie Pants had to say in the above comments. My son has had quite a few irrational fears. He is almost four and just now on our walk he didn't want to walk past a bird. He can't avoid birds forever (much like a bath) therefore my husband and I showed him how birds are afraid of us, etc., etc., and re-assured him but we also didn't let him cower and refuse to continue walking, which, is what he wanted to do.

    It is hard when our babies have fears but I believe our job is to get them through it because we are not always able to completely avoid it. BUT wouldn't it be great if we could? :)

    I wish you well with this. It is certainly just a phase but that doens't make it easier in the day to day struggle, THAT I know and understand.

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  14. The only idea I haven't seen is to have her give her babies a bath so she feels in control of the situation and can get used to the surroundings.

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  15. my boy went through a phase where he screamed bloody murder every. single. time. he. had. a. bath. for. 6. months. it was not fun for either of us. and maybe i am a bad mom but i would still just bath him as usual. eventually he got over it and likes baths again.unless it is in a new place or someone else other than me is bathing him. just make the bath as quick as possible for your little one!

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  16. Hiya. My twin girls went through a phase when they HATED taking baths, and had real fits about it. I eventually gave up (kids don't get THAT dirty anyway) and they got over it in time. Now they love taking baths again, and all is well. I would just be patience, it could be a control thing, they go through so many developmental phases.

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  17. I am a pediatric occupational therapist(OT) by trade, though temporarily retired for "Mommy duty." Hearing your story actually made me think back to working with children with serious food aversions.

    Usually the very first step was getting the kiddos to tolerate even having the food in the room, though they had nothing to do with it. Next, we would work on having them tolerate seeing someone else casually eating the item (usually me!), though they were still not involved in it. Once they were comfortable with these first steps (and sometimes it took a LONG TIME), then we would work on using the food in play, where they could touch and explore the food in a non-commital way. Eventually we would usually be able to work the food into the child's eating, though it took so much patience to get through these steps sometimes.

    Though these steps deal with food aversions, I wonder if you could apply them to bathtub aversions? Just some random ideas early on a Saturday morning! :)

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  18. Lauren - My 17-month-old is afraid of the big tub too!! We got a baby tub from Ikea and we put that in the tub and she loves it. I don't understand the difference but when we've visited family and used their big tub she freaks out. But she's perfectly happy sitting in her little tub inside the big tub. I hope you find something that works for you!!

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  19. I was a super sensitive child
    (I've learned to cope as an adult). Just the change from moving would have been way way too much for me. My only advice is not to pressure her into doing it, with so much change already in her surroundings that is the last thing she needs and it will only make things worst. With gentle guidance and a slow transition she will likely come around. Lots of great suggestions on here to slowly get her used to the tub. Best of luck and don't stress!

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  20. You all have given me such great advice! I really appreciate you all taking the time to give me some ideas! I will try a few of them and see if I can find something that works!

    EHC- I actually learned about doing that in school and didn't even think to apply it to the bath! That's a great idea! I can get her used to hearing the faucet, seeing me in the tub (as suggested above), and so on.

    I also think trying with a bathing suit on might help too since she seems to want to keep her clothes on in the bathroom (but loves to run around naked everywhere else)!

    You all rock!

    -Lauren

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  21. for a while my girls (3 and 20 months) hated the big shower, but loved this one
    http://www.amazon.com/My-Own-Shower-Adjustable-Showerhead/dp/B000ZOM356

    also. Maybe try letting her bathe her tub toys in a baby bathtub or bucket, without having to take a bath herself

    good luck

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  22. When I adopted my daughter, she was deathly afraid of any water! Blood curtling screams, shaking, the whole nine yards. Then a friend suggested that when we are outside on the patio, turn the hose on (just a trickle) and lay it down and ignore it... at first she screamed if the water circles on the pavement touched her, but over the next few days she slowly started to investigate it, touch it, and eventually played with it. It helps that she has siblings so she could see them having fun, but she would only play alone so they couldn't splash her. She got braver and got wetter and wetter. Now she even plays in the pool. We still keep really cool bath toys that she loves and only let her play with them in the tub/pool, to help encourage her still. Some days she even asks for a bath. :) So why not make a camp out in the bathroom, fully clothed, turn the tub on a trickle, give her a few toys/cups, and ignore it all and read, and and see what happens? Don't encourage/push just let her explore when she is comfortable.

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  23. I completely agree with ACW. Eventually it will pass, as long is it's a non-issue. We had the same thing happen with our second son, and I forgot about it until reading your story.

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  24. I know it's a little different, but... my son had always loved our dogs, until one day he randomly did a 180 and decided he was *deathly terrified*, like I've never seen him act so desperately scared! As soon as he saw them, even through the window, he'd go from happy to screaming bloody murder (you know, with that heartbreaking look of shear terror in his eyes too). What I had to do was, first, give him some time away (which I don't know how you give your daughter time away from the bath). After he hadn't had a traumatic experience in a few days, I took him outside and held him up high and tight, and let the dogs out. He was scared at first and clung to me. I kept talking softly and reassuringly, and within minutes he decided he loved them again. Now he gets a huge perma-grin around them. Another 180! Easiest fix ever! I don't know that your bath issue will be as simple, so sorry. But what I'm suggesting is maybe fill the tub but don't put her in it, just go look at it and talk about it. Then graduate to touching the water, or throwing toys in the water, picking toys up out of the water... I don't know, sorry! That sounds soooo hard! Good luck!
    Have you tried a swimming pool? Maybe she will like that, and you could transition to the tub.

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  25. For a while we put my son in a baby tub inside the larger tub. Maybe you can put her in a dry baby tub in the big tub that has a few inches of water and use that to bathe her and get used to being in there. You could even start with the baby tub on the kitchen counter first. Good luck.

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  26. Take a bath with her? That is what I would do. Gradually putting less and less of me in until it was just my foot dangling in the water. Together we would do fun things in the bath, like blow bubbles and color with those soap crayons. Over time you will distract her.

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  27. Just stop trying - it's making it even more traumatic for her. One day she'll just decide she wants to go in. Sponge baths are fine.

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  28. My son went through that phase. It took us forever to figure out what was wrong. It turned out that he hated the sound of the water running into the tub. So we filled it up before bringing him in and he was fine. He's over it now, but I'm glad we finally figured out what was wrong!

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  29. It's probably just the different tub, my daughter always loved baths but she went through a phase where she refused to take one at my moms or my sister in laws, she acted just terrified. Eventually she got old enough that we could convince her it would be fun. I'm not sure how one would deal with that situation at home though! :( The only thing I can think of is in agreement with the previous poster, lots of baths for mom with the little one nearby, seeing that it's enjoyable.

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  30. Maybe you could try while she's playing in there with no water slowing introducing water, maybe give her a cup of water and a small container of water that she can tip back and forth... slowly increasing the amount. You could give her a water pistol (in the bath). I am a mum of 2 headstrong boys and know how difficult it can be when they don't want to do something. Goodluck.

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  31. Let me state for the record, I have not read all the above, surely wonderful, comments. Here is my personal experience. My 12 month old did the same thing. From LOVING it, to shaking and crying. Here's what worked for me: First, I'd have my baby stay outside the tub while someone took a bath and she'd stick her hands in the water and splash and play around in the bathroom. Then I had her playing in the tub, no water for several times. Then, when I felt like she was comfortable in the "tub", I barely turned the water to a running drip.

    I went through the sponge bath thing, she wouldn't even let me turn the water on in the sink for a while...so, good luck!

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  32. My daughter was so scared of the tub too! We bought a blow up/inflatable tub that fit inside the tub. She loved to take baths in that, but would refuse to take a bath if it wasn't in there.

    I hope some of these comments help!

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  33. Maybe take her shopping and let her pick out her own bath tub toy. Something brand new. My daughter got a baby doll that goes in the tub for Christmas. It has a bathing suit and everything. Also there are the bath tub crayons that my daughter loves. I went though a short period with my daughter hating the tub and it was for no reason too. But she did grow out of it. But I understand it is terrible for you. Maybe even if you have to let her wear a bathing suit in the tub and pretend she is going to the beach. Put buckets in the tub and everything. Hope she gets over her fear of the tub. Hang in there.

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  34. Thank you so much for the wonderful tips! I am so glad to know it isn't just me! When I spoke to the few parent advisers they had at our local library they all said "well, something must have happened like a fall or the water was too hot." When I said no, nothing happened they said it was strange that she would be scared out of nowhere! I was sure it was just a phase!

    I can't wait until she grows out of this phase and I am glad I have new ideas to try to ease her back into the tub!

    -Lauren :)

    Oh, and thank you Cheri for making sure this got posted asap! I really appreciate it!

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  35. My daughter developed a fear of the tub at about the same age as your daughter. We didn't even move. Same tub, nothing new, except her reaction. We tried a few things, new bath toys, color tabs, bath markers. Nothing helped. We just kept sticking her in the tub - every other night to give us all a break. I am not sure what finally made her ok with the bath again, but eventually it passed. Now she LOVES the tub and cries on the evenings we don't let her take a bath. For now, I advise bathing her as quickly as possible.

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  36. I sort of went through a similiar thing with my son about a month and a halfish ago...we use to bath him in our huge tub in our master bathroom....as he got older (right now he's a week shy of 22 months) I wanted to bath him in the bathroom right next to his room...and yes, he did cry at the whole new experience, for a couple of days...probably because this is an enclosed shower/tub with glass doors and a whole different area all togther but now he just hangs in there and plays!! good luck!!

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  37. The noise of filling up a bath tub can be very loud, it might be echoing, and she's not used to that, the idea of already having water in the tub is good, let her know you won't turn the faucet on, so she can relax a little.

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  38. For several months we bathed our daughter in an inflatable bathtub duck from Target. It's the cutest thing - looks like a big duck, soft all around, and it was like a nest when she sat in it. Very comfortable and you don't have to worry about her sliding around or hitting her head against the hard tub. Also, you don't have to use a lot of water. It made bathtime fun! We were all sad when she became too big.

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  39. In our first apartment we didn't have a tub so we used the inflatable duck bathtub. You could squeeze the bill and it would "quack". It was a big hit! You could use it outisde of the bath area and see if that is better...Amazon has an inflatable tub at this link: http://www.amazon.com/Safety-1st-Kirby-Inflatable-Tub/dp/B001MTELJY
    Good luck.

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  40. I forgot to leave the link for the inflatable duck tub:
    http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/192-1357470-1537002?asin=B000066665&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=B000066665

    I hope it helps.

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  41. My kids all went through an anti-bath phase. Turns out the noise of running water freaked them out. So I filled the tub and then brought them in. My youngest stayed afraid longer, but after a few loud bathing sessions, he got over it. So my advice if fill the tub in advance and then just tough it out.

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  42. my daughter went thru a phase like this around the same age. actually, reading the comments makes me feel better that it wasn't just us who went thru this!
    she used to scream bloody murder the second she stepped in the bath. =( it was horrible, but we bathed quick, endured the screams and got out faster than you could blink your eye! LOL she's a lot better now. at 4, she actually begs me everyday to take a shower or bath! she still panics if water gets on her face, but we're slowly getting past that too! =)

    http://miss-amomynous.blogspot.com/

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  43. <3 Mod Cloth...drove by their building today, DH works for a non-profit and they've donated a lot of clothes to them....even more reason to shop there!

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  44. I haven't read all of the above so this may be a repeat but you could try letting her wash a babydoll in the bath tub or sink with no pressure for her to get in as well. You could also find some books at the library with fun bath scenes... not talking about her bathing experience but just letting her see happy babies in the bath and letting her make the conection. Good luck!

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  45. I have the opposite problem - my boy is scared of the shower. My advice {you might not like it!} is to just not do baths for a while. I think freaking her out will make it worse. We figure he'll take showers when he's ready. If you hate that advice {and its okay if you do} try peer pressure - have a bath party and see how she does! Or break a pool out {once it heats up of course} and show her how fun it is. Keep in mind if YOU never take baths, she probably won't want to either. Now..please don't mistake me not taking showers...BELIEVE ME, I do! ;)

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  46. if she likes to color, you could try the bath pens, i know they sell them at target.

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  47. For the bath issue: Does she have a friend you could invite over for a 'water party'. Get those bath crayon things to color on the walls, loads of toys, bubbles, and a friend or two. Once she sees them having fun, maybe she'll want to join in too? Good luck!

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  48. maybe the water are too hot

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  49. I don't know if this has been suggested or not but to put her in the bath clothes on no water with toys and just let her hang out in there for a couple days to a week before you try giving her a bath again. Kind of like little training sessions :)

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