September 29, 2012

Soapbox Saturday - You're not the only one.

I've been thinking lately....yes, it's something I try to do on occasion :)  I've been thinking a lot about motherhood and all the emotions of it.  And sometimes I think we feel so much pressure to have it look perfect.  We want our children to wear gorgeous clothing, say all their cute phrases when other adults are around, and we want them to be little angels in public.

Well, mine definitely aren't like that.  And, it's okay.  I don't think they were given to me so that I could make them into little soldiers who perform on command.  I think they were given to me so I could help them discover who they want to be.

You may see pictures of my boys on my blog and think, "Wow, she's really got it together."  It's a picture.  Please don't assume that.  If you saw me in Target one of my boys might be having a meltdown.  If you saw me at home you might hear me raise my voice....and then feel really bad about it afterwards.  If you saw me at church you might just catch me giving one of my boys that look that says if-you-don't-knock-it-off-now-I'm-going-to-go-nutso-on-you!

I had a great conversation with one of my sisters the other day.  She is an awesome mother and her kids are amazing.  I asked her if she ever felt like she was failing as a mom and she said, "Absolutely."  It caught me off guard a bit.  I knew I had felt like that at times, but I didn't realize she did to.  And then I realized how much we ALL feel like at times.  We just don't always mention it.  It's pretty personal.

The other night I was tucking Rex in after a long day.  He told me he was upset and I asked why.  He said, "I'm mad because I was so mean to you today, Mom.  I'm sorry."

It melted me.  I told him I appreciated him apologizing and that he didn't have to feel bad anymore.  I told him we could wake up in the morning and try again.  I explained that I often feel that same way.  I might feel really bad for loosing my temper with him, but that I tell God I'm sorry and I try harder the next day.

It's a bit like Groundhog's Day, but I think the important part is that we aren't giving up.

There are a billion ways to be a great mother.  There is no perfect, proven technique.  If we are trying and loving them, then I think we're doing just fine.  And I think it helps to soak in those amazing moments - those little victories.  Baden talked to the cashier the other day without giving her a scowl.  Rex wanted to use his own money to buy Baden a toy.

And you know what?  I think they are going to be okay.

So if you feel a bit down or inadequate, please know that we're all in the same boat here.  Let's keep paddling and enjoying the sunrises.

Thanks for reading.


Related Posts with Thumbnails