June 16, 2011

Good Boy Passport

I asked a question on the last Sharing Saturday regarding how you were disciplined as a child and how you now discipline your children.  I thoroughly enjoyed your honest answers.  Lately Rex has been challenging me a lot.  On top of that, the normal things we've done to discipline him just haven't been working lately.  I've also felt like I wanted to do something more positive for him so it wasn't all about time outs.
Well, yesterday I made him this little book.  (Note: I'm not asking you to critique my parenting methods, I'm just sharing an idea.)  I'm calling it his "Good Boy Passport."  Each page lists a challenge for him and when he accomplishes it he gets a stamp in the box. 

When all the boxes in the book are filled he gets a night out with mom and dad all to himself. He gets to choose the activities (the park, the pet store, maybe ice cream). I didn't want toys to be the incentive because I don't think he needs more toys and I didn't want this to get expensive, as we're currently on a tight budget.


Since I made the book, I picked little things that I thought would be good for him to work on.  I also drew little pictures on the page to help him remember what the challenges were, since he can't read yet.


Some of the challenges are fairly easy....

...and some are a bit funny.  (Like the poorly drawn potty?  I thought it was a better choice than drawing poop.  Right?)


If you want instructions on making the little booklet out of one piece of paper, click HERE for the tutorial.  It's the same booklet I used for our photo scavenger hunt.

I'll let you know how it all turns out.  I'm excited to try something new with him and I hope he likes it.

Thanks for stopping by.

61 comments:

  1. What an awesome idea! I have nephews who would love this, so I'll have to pass it on to their mom

    The Tuckerbag

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  2. I actually really love this idea, the pics are kind of funny :) I currently have a 4.5 YO who is making mommy nutso! Think I might try this, at the very least it's always good to have goals!

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  3. My son's kindergarten teacher (who is the BEST teacher EVER)did this for one of the other boys in his class. I've always thought it was such a neat idea. I think my youngest son would benefit from something like this.

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  4. I love this Idea! I´m sure I´ll try this one out on my younger son... got the same problem with him lately!

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  5. Great Idea. I commend you for mixing it up. Sometimes I'm afraid to change a technique or system we implemented because on some level I feel that I I should have made it work. I think it's so important to find what works best for each child.

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  6. It is like you pricked the words right out of my brain. I am dealing with he same thing and I cannot stand the negative feeling I get with constant timeouts:) My son Jack, always responds better to positive reinforcement, so I am going to try this right away! Thanks and good luck to you. I think you found a winner:)

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  7. Love it - this is exactly why I ended up doing the thing with the red coin jar that I mentioned in the comments with my daughter - I needed a way to reward the positive stuff and not just harp on the negative all the time. I really like the idea of a passport book though - it adds some additional challenges that I think are great. I am going to think about this for when my daughter finishes school next week! Thanks for such a great idea!

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  8. Great idea......I hate the feeling that I am always nagging at my kids. If I feel that way, I can't imagine how they feel. We all know that we feel better with positive feedback but its so had when......well you know:) This is a cute idea and I hope it works for you, let us know.

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  9. I love this idea. I totally believe in rewarding good behavior every chance I get. Cute passport!!

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  10. I love this!!! I'm a first grade teacher and know first-hand that positive reinforcement works so much better (and tires you out less) than only punishment/consequences all the time. Thanks for sharing :)

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  11. Thank you for this post. The last few days with my boys have driven me a bit looney as well so much fighting and arguing and not sharing and I am loving this idea and will definitely try it out with both my 3 year old and 5 year old.

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  12. Great idea! I feel relieve now that my girls aren't the only ones saying "poop" all the time and thinking is funny. Thank you!

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  13. What a great idea. Such a nice positive way to focus on what is right instead of what is broken...thanks for the idea.

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  14. I like the one about making someone on the playground happy. That is one of my son's biggest challenges. Great idea!!

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  15. That is so awesome that you're doing something positive! I've seen similiar things used in the YMCA after school program where I worked for three years. We'd also do things like a green/red/yellow sticker and if they got all greens, it was a certain prize, if they got X number of yellows then it was a lesser prize, and red was just no prize.

    Also consider doing random positive reinforcement so he won't know EXACTLY when he gets rewarded. It works wonders!

    One last thing I did specifically at *my school* was a noodle jar. The YMCA had four core concepts -- responsibility (green), honesty (blue), respect (yellow), and caring (red). I had pasta noodles painted those colors, and each time a student did something showing any one of those characteristics, they'd up in a noodle (or more, depending no the situation). They wouldn't ALWAYS put in a noodle, and if they asked to put one in, they knew I'd say no because they couldn't ask for noodles. The catch was I'd drawn a line on the jar and once they reached it, they could celebrate with whatever they wanted (we had pizza parties, root beer float parties, etc.). This worked awesome for my site (elementary school), and other sites used the same idea! It may seem a little complicated for young children, but you could modify it to fit your needs. I would do a lot of explaining and make them give me examples so I could make sure they understood.

    :)

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    1. I really love your idea with the "noodle jar." Thanks for sharing it! My 7yr old boy struggles with impulse control at home & school. I bet this would be helpful for him. I totally agree, that positive approaches work best. I made a sticker chart for him and we focused on "making good choices" instead of documenting negative behavior. It worked very well.

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  16. Wow Cheri! That is a really great idea! I'm going to bookmark this for when my little guy is a bit older. I'm certain we are going to need it. He is the youngest by 9 years and TOTALLY spoiled!

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  17. CUTE!!! I think that is a great idea, I laughed out loud when you said, "not to critique your pareenting methods" becuase no one is perfect and you seriously have to try new things ALL the time, My kids get bored with one method and I have to switch it up too!

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  18. wait I take that back, you might be perfect!

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  19. This is a great idea and I am going to use it when my little guys gets older. I like more positive reinforcement. And what isn't fun about getting a stamp in a passport. (except the long lines in the airports where you generally get them. )

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  20. What a cool idea for a reverse positive reinforcement of the behaviors you want him to have. Just might have to try this with my girls.

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  21. What a fun idea! I also love your idea for the rewards at the end. I bet special Rex time with just you and Daddy will mean more than toys would anyway. My little one is still too little for this, but I'm going to file it away for a few years down the road. Fun, fun, and so positive!

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  22. You are such a great mom!!! This is a great idea, and the poop thing! My kids too! Ah! So funny! Your kids are so lucky to have you for their mom!

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  23. Smart idea! This would work in a preschool or daycare too!

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  24. I have been thinking a lot about this issue lately too. Rewarding good behavior just makes a lot more sense to me than punishing bad behavior. It trains them to look for good things to do instead of waiting to pounce on them for doing the wrong things.
    Thanks for this great idea.
    xoxo,
    Amy

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  25. I love this. So cute! Easy for me, and fun for them. I have a 5 year old girl who I am going to try this with... and she says poop all the time, too! What is it with kids and the word poop?

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  26. I love it! My favorite part is that you made the goals so personal to HIM. "Not say poop all day". Ah, the joys of little boys. :) Great idea!

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  27. Brilliant idea. I wonder if it something like this would work on my 2 year old. How old is your son?

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  28. I love this idea. I think your Rex will love it;)

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  29. What a lovely idea! :)

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  30. I love this idea. My son is only 4 months old but I will be filing this away for later :)

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  31. That is a really good idea! I love it. We are currently doing a chore ticket system but I like how this addresses behavior. Owen would have to have a page that says "Not saying 'butt' all the time." Boys! :)

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  32. What is it with boys and 'poop'?!

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  33. What an awesome idea! I'm definitely making these for my kids. I've been wondering how to get my 2 1/2 year old son to stop putting stuff up his nose...at this point just a finger up there would be a welcome change! TMI? Anyway, thanks so much for your blog and all you do. You are simply amazing and greatly appreciated!

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  34. Awesome idea! I'd like to know how it turns out... so far, my boy (3 years-4months) isn't really good with long-term goal. We tried potty training him with a long-term reward system (1 pee = 1 sticker, 5 stickers = 1 car), and we had to switch to 1 pee = 1 car left by the car fairy)...

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  35. Putting the thoughts of what you want to achieve the positive behaviour instead of focussing on the negative...Brilliant. If you marketed this, for a few dollars Desperate Mothers everywhere would just pick one up.
    One of my boys was a nightmare to toilet train- plain ol' lazy and still is!! I drew a toilet with a lid you could lift when he used the the loo he would lift the lid and put a sticker in his loo. And with a number of stickers came reward. Rewards of time together is mostly what kids desire. Your also teaching the Simple pleasures in life are such a reward which will keep him in good stead for his entire life whatever his circumstance. Love your work!!!

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  36. Love the idea!! I especially like that the reward at the end is not a toy...what kid needs more toys!

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  37. I've been reading your blog for a while now, it's a good place to day-dream about having kids and being the best mom I can. This is one of the many many posts I saved in the favorites for later, what a great idea, and the execution, with the felt markers and the childish drawings, is simply sublime :) Thanks for sharing!

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  38. I love this!!! I'm going to make one for both my boys next week. I too love the idea of not purchasing a toy but doing something more meaningful!

    Great idea!!!
    Thanks for sharing!
    Steph
    www.alwaysjustamom.blogspot.com

    PS...what is with the word "poop" I don't get little boys and this word but we have the same issue?!?! UGH!

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  39. This is such a good idea. I think I have to make a good girl book for my daughter. I think this is a great disciplinary tool for kids. I will for sure be sharing this with my mom friends.

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  40. I'm an aunt not a mommy. Im just ttc. However, this is a super cute idea. And there is nothing wrong at all about fun little reminders! And I like how you aren't using toys - in the long run he will appreciate time vs toys - I know I do.

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  41. wow! this is great, can't wait to try it out on my three-year old! love your blog!

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  42. You are so creative! I will have to make one of these for each of my boys...We are in DESPERATE NEED! haha

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  43. I think this is just an absolutely lovely idea!!!
    so creative, budget friendly, and positive!
    This is something that anyone can do, easily and it really turns the focus to the good things instead of the bad. I am really looking for things like this in my life to make things positive for my son. Thanks so much for sharing!!!

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  44. Great idea! I might have to steal this one for myself. Although, I probably would have drawn the poop on the page! Ha!

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  45. that is such a great idea Cheri. Really truly it's just a beautiful thing! I hope it's been working. Gosh, who knew parenting would be so hard (well, we probably knew, but when you're right in the middle of it all things can get pretty hairy!).

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  46. Your blog is so adorable!!!! I am definitely going to be following you!! If you would like to check out my blog also I would LOVE that!! And follow me too!! I am excited to share new ideas on recipes and about mineral make-up!! And giving away free giveaways on make-up! So look out for it...
    -Brooke
    For-The-Luv-Of.blogspot.com

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  47. This is so cute! I have three boys. I had to chuckle over the "not saying poop all the time" page, because I SO GET THAT! HA! :D
    Jaimee @ craft-interrupted.blogspot.com

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  48. Great idea !! Going to try it with my son. Thank you for sharing this.

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  49. My kids are going through the "potty talk" stage right now and it is driving me crazy. This is a great idea. I should try it!

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  50. I love this idea! Very nice.

    For the poop thing... I wish I could remember who said this. I really could. I was with a friend the other day and the kids started using potty words, and she calmly reminded them that bathroom words are for in the bathroom, and they stopped. Awesome! So if Nicole is using her fav (hers is bum.) she gets reminded that bathroom words are for in the bathroom. If she keeps it up, she gets told she can say it if she wants... in the bathroom. It works really well, for two reasons:
    1) not getting in trouble for saying potty words really takes the fun right out of it. The novelty is removed.
    2) they learn that there is a time and place... and what that time and place is.
    I shared the idea with my sister in law and she said her sister used to work in a daycare and when Potty Words were being used like crazy, one day the lady in charge took them all to the washroom and told them to yell the words all they wanted. They did, and it was exciting for a minute, and then it got boring and wasn't fun anymore. And they learned a time and a place, and got over the novelty, all in one shot.

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    1. What a great idea! I have a 7yr old boy, that thinks it's so funny to constantly say, 'poop, diaper, fart', and other stuff life that. I'm gonna try this approach. Thanks for sharing!

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  51. great idea. A few months ago we began a privilege chart for my now 5 yr old daughter. when she exhibits a fruit of the spirit she gets a good mark to put on any privilege she wants. She got to pick out the pictures to represent each privilege, then the hubs and I decided how many marks she needs to reach each one. She has worked really hard and when she loses a mark for bad behavior it upsets her way more than a spanking! I think rewarding good behavior is much more beneficial to everyone involved.

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  52. Oh, so your child likes to talk about "poop" too?! So funny I came across this today. I just told my children this morning that each time I heard the word "Poop" or any other word meaning the same, they owed me $1. It has worked so far... fingers crossed!

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  53. Love it! I'm borrowing this idea pronto :)

    How often are you giving stamps. Daily? Hourly? Thanks!

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  54. Danielle,

    I tried to make the booklet so that it would take more than a week to finish. We pick one thing to work on a day and if he follows through the whole day he gets a stamp at the end of the day. Good luck!

    Cheri

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  55. just pinned this for when I have kids. Love it
    thanks for the idea : )

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  56. Oh my goodness, this is such a brilliant idea!!! Thanks again.

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