November 13, 2011

Sunshine Sunday - trust

Today I am really grateful for what I've been given....even though it's not always what I asked for.

You see, if I had been the one choosing, I would have had a house full of girls.  They would be beautiful and they would be spaced 2 years apart.  They would love to sing and dance and I'd sew them ruffled skirts.  BUT, I got this.  


And while the young ignorant me might have been upset that things didn't go as I had planned, the older current me is so thankful that I wasn't the one making the calls because this life is more than I ever could have planned or dreamed.



And while the current-likes-to-plan-and-be-in-control-of-everything-me has been struggling lately because  we've been trying to get pregnant for 11 months now, I know I will look back eventually and be grateful everything happened the way it did.  I am grateful to have that trust in God and His plan.



So here's to letting go and handing over the control to someone who knows so much more than I do.  Here's to giving up pity parties and frustrations.  Here's to being grateful for what I already have.

Thank you for being here.

73 comments:

  1. It is always hard to struggle to let go. I am glad you can still see the blessings in life.

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  2. I can relate more than you know to your post...I always thought I'd have daughters and we'd be swimming in pink but God has blessed me with three sons. The first two are 17 months apart (now 3 and 4) and I had my third son three months ago. It also took me a year to get pregnant the third time after only taking two months each time with the first two. While it wasn't my "plan" I'm am so grateful to be blessed with my boys!

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  3. We're trying for our second right now. It is frustrating and I am trying to hard to take every thought captive and just give it to God as soon as I get worried or scared or just plain sad that I'm not feeling a little life inside of me again.

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  4. My husband and I wanted to already be pregnant by now too (although it is because of our physical separation that we can't). You have a good attitude about it and you seem to realize that everything happens for a reason! It will happen for you when it's meant to!! :)

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  5. When I was first married I was eager to have a baby. It took us 9 months to get pregnant, even though we were both healthy and only 21 at the time. I couldn't figure out why it took so long, but God had other plans. My husband got deployed to Afghanistan when I was 6 weeks along and he was able to make it home a few days before our son was born. Had I gotten pregnant any earlier he would have missed his son's birth and first few months of life. He was killed in Iraq in 2007, when our son was 3 and daughter was a baby. I am so thankful for God's perfect planning that he was able to see both of his babies' births and spend time with them when they were small.

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  6. HE knows the end from the beginning! Thirty years ago I couldn't understand why my two children came so close together and so soon after marrying. Then a few years later I found out that I had a medical condition that should have kept me from becoming pregnant at all. WOW! I became very grateful very quickly when I realized that God knew it before I did and blessed us with a boy and a girl!

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  7. Cheri, your faith and positive attitude are so inspirational! I follow your blog from far-away Singapore and am constantly amazed by what you do. I wish you the very best, but no matter how things turn out just remember, as you do now, that God has His reasons for everything. Sending lots of love and prayers your way!

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  8. I can totally relate. I never could have pictured myself with anything but girls, but God gave me two boys. I was sad, but always tried to have faith that there was a reason I was meant to have boys. We decided to risk trying for a girl a third time (knowing that God would give us what He felt we needed), and God blessed us with a daughter. I firmly believe that He did it this way for a reason, because I couldn't picture our family any other way. Keep up the faith, girl! He knows what you need!!

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  9. Great, great post, and great reminder of letting go of what we can not change. A good thought for a Sunday.

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  10. Thank you so much for this post. My husband lost his job this week and it has been very difficult and scary. I'm trying to look at it as a blessing and be excited for what comes our way next. I love your blog! Good luck with everything.

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  11. We are so totally on the same page!

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  12. Oh man isn't giving up control the hardest part of life? I feel the exact same way. Planning pregnancy, life, everything has always been a challenge for me. I am a very faith driven person I just tend to wish that the lord would let me in on his plan for me and I would be glad to follow.

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  13. Good for you, Cheri (like how I call you by your name as if I know you?;). Isn't it sad that it sometimes takes us months and YEARS of things not going our way to finally realize and accept that the Lord always knows the bigger picture? Myself especially. And this coming from a girl all-too familiar with the physical/emotional/financial pains of infertility. Although, we now have 3 amazing children through the miracles of both adoption and modern medicine. It is such a blessing to be able to appreciate what we have in the moment! Thanks to everyone else for their comments too! Good luck with all of your endeavors.

    And, as a not-as-important side note, LOVE the blog! Thanks for inspiring me and others... and making me feel guilty for all of that crafting that I'm *not* getting around to. Ha!;)

    Kristin

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  14. I can so relate to the yearning for more children. I have two beautiful twin girls - and they really are my everything, but because I love them so much, I think, I want more children - it's to the point where when I hear of someone being pregnant, it hurts a little - I can't have more children because I divorced their father due to drug abuse - and I'm telling myself every day that I am blessed beyond my expectations - the two girls I have ARE enough and should be enough - and I love them more than I ever thought was possible. Tone

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  15. Oh Cheri! Thank you for sharing little glimpses of you with us :) I think that we can all relate at some time or other. I didn't truly start attending church until after my twin boys were born ~ I was just SO thankful to be blessed with two healthy babes and now... well I go to find strength and understanding as I struggle to be the best mom I can be to two, very active, toddlers. Have a wonderful week!

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  16. I will just tell you that I struggled with this very thing....I wanted my children to be four to five years apart.....I cried and prayed and prayed and cried....finally I gave up....gave it to God....and just decided that I would have to be happy with my one child....THEN found out I was pregnant....my children are seven years apart and very close...I have one boy and one girl....but people sometimes comment to me why were my children so far apart? I say....not for lack of trying! That usually shuts them up! Point being.....this was HIs plan and we are grateful for what we are given...even though at times....I wish I had that seven year old to fill in that blank space....but I am content with my 11 yr old and 4 yr old.

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  17. Cheri- Rex looks like he's levitating in that last photo. ha!

    You know, I joined a Bible study mom's group a few months back, and out of the 13 of us, 5 have had miscarriages or given birth only to lose her child hours later. Two of my dear friends found out they have cancer this year and won't be able to have more children (after their first)-- at 27 years old. It's amazing to me how many women are grieving silently and having to surrender in a very real way.

    God has perfect plans for you and your family. Thanks for sharing.

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  18. I enjoy reading your blog, but this particular post hit very close to home. I have a beautiful almost 4 year old daughter. Two years ago, our second daughter was born and passed away almost a month later. We tried and tried for more children and a year and a half later we were finally pregnant with twin boys. Then at 5months we lost them both. Another miscarriage followed. I often wonder the "why" of it all. I have come to understand that though I am not in "control", I do have control of how I deal with what life hands me. I always wanted a team full of boys, like my mom. But now I am grateful for each of my little miracles, including all of my angel babies.

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  19. Cheri - Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. I too wanted a girl more than anything. But I was blessed with an AMAZING little boy 2 years ago. And I love him more than I ever thought I could. I thank God for my little blessing every, single day.

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  20. i agree. i have a 13 month old son and he is my world. thanks, i love ur blog. also are you planning any more babies?

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  21. That first picture is so hilarious! I love it :) Like many others, I can totally relate. I have a 4 year old daughter and I get asked all the time about when we will have another. My husband and I are starting with an infertility clinic this month. It's so painful to have a righteous desire and feel so out of control.

    I have also come to the conclusion that God knows what is best. I'm being grateful for the time I have with my one child and taking this opportunity to spend lots of one on one time with her. I've also been setting monthly goals, so each month that passes I feel like I'm accomplishing something.

    Thanks for your blog, and for sharing your life with your readers! You are an inspiration!

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  22. I love being-thankful-for-what-you-have posts! Praying for you as you await God's perfect timing for your third little one to arrive. Our one and only little guy arrived 8 years later than planned and was a huge surprise. Looking at things now, I wouldn't have changed God's timing for the world. I know how hard it is to wait for a child and I'm sorry you're going through that right now.

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  23. Great post, Cheri! We've been trying for 15 months and it's hard sometimes, but yah...life works out how it should and it's great to see the blessings around us! Good luck ;).

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  24. hey - poignant post for me - I've given myself a hard time for not filling my house with the girls I dearly wanted. I got three boys - and love them more than life itself, but still fight the girl envy!
    On a lighter note, nice new banner, and I hope you're having fun in 'the trying'!
    fee x

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  25. me too! i can identify so well! thanks for writing what i was still working out in my noggin.

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  27. Hello~I don't know you... and I'm about to get all personal, BUT I can totally relate to the frustration of ttc. We couldn't afford to do another IUI and have it not work, soooo...I kind of made a knock off version of the "conception kit"...if you want to read about it, just go here:
    http://strengththroughwounding.blogspot.com/
    So sorry if this is too personal!!

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  28. I always thought I wanted a girl and a boy 2 years apart. Then I had a boy, and he's the sweetest thing ever! (I became pregnant with him while on the pill). 2 years later or so, we started trying for another baby. This time it took over 4 years. It was a very hard time for me, I was sad a lot and felt like I was being punished or something. Then I finally became pregnant! I had in my mind that I wanted a girl, because I don't know if we can have any more kids. In the ultrasound room, when we found out it was another boy, the first thing my son said was, "I'm so sorry, mommy. It's my fault. I prayed for a brother." That just about killed me, that he would feel guilty! I didn't realize that I had been giving him that strong of feelings about the issue. I was scared that I would be disappointed if it were a boy, but it was just the opposite. I thank my son all the time for praying for a brother, and I mean it. God's plan is way different than my plan, but it's the best plan for me, and I'm so thankful :) It was a difficult 4 years, but I'll have my 2nd little boy in just a few weeks, and I couldn't be happier! :)

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  29. These words truly touched my soul today. I have three kids, 2 boys and one little girl. They are three years apart from oldest to youngest. We have been trying for 16 months to get pregnant and I'm so frustrated. According to my plans we would of already been pregnant and it would be a girl. While I'm still hoping for that girl, I constantly need the reminder that it's not my plans. It's hard and I hate it but it is what it is and I hope and pray that the Lord's plan will all work itself out. Thank you for sharing this today.

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  30. I have two girls 4 1/2 and almost 3. I became pregnant this spring and at 10 weeks I found out I lost the baby. I had a bunch of complications and ended up going through 2 rounds of chemo because I had irregular cells left over from the pregnancy. Now I have to wait a year to become pregnant again. We had everything planned out on when we wanted the baby to be born. Obviously I've learned that we don't know what the Lord's plans are. Thanks for sharing! It helps to know that we are not the only ones going through trials. I hope you are able to get pregnant soon! Love your blog!

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  31. Such a good reminder...sometimes I wish for a crystal ball to show me the future (and therefore helping me understand why things are happening UNLIKE my plan), but then I guess there would be no faith involved.

    p.s. this is my first time here...Shaun Ritchie send me your blog address :) I'm wondering how I've missed you. You do so many fun things!

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  32. Just like the old quote, gratitude turns what we have into enough. And another thing the old folks say, don't fret, have fun trying :)

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  33. I just had to comment, because I can totally relate. We got pregnant with our first, with 2 months of trying. I remember when it didn't work the first month, I thought something must be wrong! Boy - was I naive! We welcomed a beautiful little boy, and around his first birthday, started trying again. We tried and tried, and nothing. After 2 years of trying, we finally turned to infertility, and found my body stopped ovulating. After some treatment, we are about to welcome a little girl, in a few months!
    My dream was to have my children very close, so they'd always have each other. Since my oldest is a boy, I wanted my next to also be a boy... but now that they'll be 3 1/2 years apart, I'm happy with a girl! I'm also happy for the age difference. My son understands and is excited about what's going on, and welcoming a sister! So long story short... through my trials to conceive baby number two, I had a lot of woe is me moments, and a lot of tears. I put my trust in the Lord, but it wasn't until I TRULY put it in His hands, that things started to fall into place, and happen. I thought I had done this earlier, but realized that I was still trying to control things. I pray you get the answers and blessings you're looking for. The fact that you already see the blessings you have, is a step in the right direction! And putting your faith in Heavenly Father, is the best step possible! Good luck!!

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  34. looks like you have an amazing array of things to be thankful for.

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  35. What a wonderful post. My life has turned out much differently than I planned, but it is SO much better than I could have ever planned. It's amazing how God just knows more than we do, isn't it? Thanks for this post today, it got me thinking. Thanks! :)

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  36. I can relate to this whole post. While trying to get pregnant with our first it took 9 months. After getting pregnant with our 2nd, I miscarried. Hated the fact, but looking back, I can see that God was in control. Trying again for a second child took 5 months. Then baby #2 turned to babies # 2&3. I was having twins. Oh boy. God must have a sense of humor to give me twins. I just knew I'd have 2 more girls, but instead they were boys. I had no idea what to do with boys not having any brothers( or sisters for that matter) and my dad left when I was born. My poor husband is the one who I have to learn on what men are about. But now that I've been blessed with my boys for a year now I am so in love with them and so glad they are boys!
    I know that being in this position of infertility you feel like you are the only person in the world who can't have a baby. lonely. I will pray for God to bless you with another baby and peace during the journey to get there

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  38. What a sweet post! Thx for the reminder to treasure what we hav and trust God ;). Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!

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  39. My heart broke for you when I read this....here's hoping a third baby comes soon...
    Thanks for sharing something so personal with us.

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  40. What a wonderful post! Your boys are adorable. And I hope things can work out for you with a third.

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  41. I'm totally with you. I want to be in control of every situation; however there's Someone that knows a lot better than me. Why do I always want to fight it? I exhaust myself!

    Your boys make me happy!

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  42. Beautiful message and wonderful post!

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  43. Darling, a lot of us have been there! My husband and I have been trying most of this year to have a second kid. It's stressful, it's frustrating and it's damn disappointing every month when you realise you are not pregnant. I was getting ready to just give up. I couldn't put myself through the constant disappointment, as much as I TRIED not to put my hopes too high. I have a beautiful little boy already, and I felt blessed that I was lucky enough to have him, at least.

    I felt like I couldn't complain either, because my best friend tried for 3 years then started the adoption process before she fell pregnant with her first child.

    Just as I was about to give up, my husband forces me to take a pregnancy test, just in case. I was done with them, I didn't want take one anymore, I wanted to just wait the the next day for my period, instead of the false hope you build up when you take a test.

    Well we took the test, and to my absolute shock it came up positive. We're 6 weeks pregnant and we've only known for a week, but it still feels so surreal.

    It will happen. I hated it when people gave me unsolicited advice on my facebook, they weren;t ME, I didn't want to hear it. But they were right. Just when you decide to stop worrying, to just chill out, it will happen :)

    Best of luck sweetie, I'm praying that you will be blessed with a wee one soon :) {then we can be pregnant together!}

    xx max

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  44. What a beautiful lesson... I should start to learn too... I've been trying for over 7 years now... had 5 in-vitro's, got kicked out of the adoption program last year because I am too emotionnal... and have the feeling I will never feel accomplished... I always thought I'd be a mother of at least 2. The people that know me say I'd probably be an amazing mother... but I'll never be one and am not sure I will ever get rid of that feeling of being totally useless, of having no future because the story just ends there... right after I die

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  45. Good luck Darling Girl!! There is always a Plan xxx

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  46. Thanks. Just what I needed to hear today. We are in the same boat.

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  47. It too have to comment as I have struggled to conceive. We did have a baby girl three years ago and it has changed my world, and I promised God I would be thankful even if I just had one. But I always find myself wanting that second one. We never stopped trying for more children, but it can be difficult to see everyone around you get pregnant, your child ask you for a sibbling, and just feel so helpless. I prray for peace for your heart as you figure this out. P.S. I think you are very brave for sharing this with the world.

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  48. I can relate!! I always thought I would be the momma with a brood of boys and I got a precious little girl.:) But of course, I can't imagine it any other way, and I love her more than I ever thought possible! It's amazing how God orchestrates our lives. Also, how far apart are your two boys? Just curious.:)

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  49. It's amazing at how difficult life can be sometimes. I'm proud of you for letting go and being grateful for what you have. That is not easy at all. I'll keep you in my prayers. My heart goes out to you.

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  50. Thank you for posting this :) I too dreamed of pink and ruffles and was awarded with blue, boogers and rough-housing. Two boys to be exact. Both are miracles (see about me for my preemie miracle story). I'm blessed beyond measure and couldn't have planned it better IF I'd had the opportunity. I'm grateful Heavenly Father is in charge. And, that it's in his own timing - we waited over 2 yrs of trying for baby boy #2 ;) Blessings to you!

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  51. God has a plan dear! It took me longer than expected to get pregnant with my first and I found out I was pregnant with my second a week before my daughter turned one. If had gotten pregnant when I wanted with both of mine my husband would have been deployed with the first and leaving for a deployment shortly after my second. It's all in His timing! Thanks for sharing this, you're honesty is so refreshing.

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  52. It took us almost 2 years to be blessed with our little miracle baby; we still aren't sure if we'll be able to have any more. I truly know that any time spent in infertility - a few months or many years - is such a difficult trial. I am so sorry you are going through this! Hopefully your two adorable boys give you comfort in your wait. Good luck!

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  53. im struggling at the moment. but its BECAUSE of my girl. she is 14 now and oh such a handful. im quite convinced that aliens abducted her and replaced her with an evil look a like!!! its so hard!!! and i feel like im non stop praying for patience and grace but i havent mastered it yet!!! have fun with the baby makin!!

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  54. @ alida l- bless your heart!!! such a beautiful story!!!

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  55. I know all about pity parties and trying REALLY hard to give up control. My husband and I tried to get pregnant for 11 YEARS before we were able to adopt twin girls! Sometimes, there really is a better plan for you than you could have imagined for yourself. Hang in there! *hugz* I love your blog, btw--you are AWESOME!!!

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  56. Thank you for your honest blog, so endearing. I actually find little boys adorable, especially when they're in that 'Oh I am so cool (but won't go to sleep without my teddy bear)' phase. I dunno if kids are ever in the stars for me (because of an illness in my family) and I have decided: whatever will be will be and this brings me a lot of peace. I find that actually people around me are less accepting than I am, which I find frustrating! So, this is my clumsy way of saying: thank you for taking life as it is, it's such a relieve to read that there are people 'out there' like this.
    Esther.

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  57. This post just speaks to me! I always "assumed" I would have a girl, but ended up with two amazing little boys. I have been a different kind of mom than I ever thought I would be because of it. Thanks for sharing this!

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  58. Shelley - Rex and Baden are 23 months apart. It took almost a year to have Rex, so we started trying pretty quickly afterwards for the next, thinking it would take a while. He came a little faster than Rex.

    Cheri

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  59. Best book ever: http://www.tcoyf.com/
    I really feel like it helped bring our baby boy to us after 9 months!

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  60. Your blog has been so inspiring to me! Thank you for always sharing your thoughts and talents with us. You are so special and I know that Heavenly Father will continue to bless you and your family!

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  61. Thanks so much for sharing this. I can relate on so many levels, but as you said, this plan unfolds in God's time and His way. I always wanted a house full of kids like the home I came from. But... I have a boy and a girl (she was originally a twin) they are 2 1/2 years apart and I love them dearly. Some days I wish there were four more of them and then some days I fully understand God's wisdom in giving me two. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  62. Beautifully said!!! You're such a beautiful person Cheri, I can only imagine the pride your parents have in you! Enjoy this holiday season, who knows you may have a sweet little package to start out the new year! :)

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  63. Thank you for being real. I struggled with this as it took us over a year to get pregnant with our first chid. With our second child it took less than a month. Yikes! Looking back now I can see that all the trouble with our first was stress related. Stressful job, stressful house situation, etc. etc. Hang in there girl and try to get as many "stress free" moments in your life as you can. I know how hard that can be with 2 kiddos in the house already!

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  64. This is such a true and honest post. Thanks for sharing....hopefully it has helped others to be grateful for that they have been given. And I will say a little prayer for you :)

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  65. thank you for this post! i am a recent follower and lover of your blog. i also have 2 little boys (3 .5and 1.5) and i TOTALLY understand how difficult it can be to wait on God's timing. whenever i read "oh the places you'll go" to my sons i think of how i so often feel stuck in "the waiting place." but that place is not for you! somehow you'll escape all that waiting :)

    melodyjoy1983.com

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  66. thanks for your post. i needed to read that. i too always expected a house full of girls, and ended up with boys. life can certainly change your thinking!! i will say a prayer for you on the baby front. waiting is so, so hard.

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  67. I have felt the same way. We tried for years to have a child only to discover something wasn't right and that affected our infertility. We did have 2 children with the help of doctors but that didn't work for our third so we turned to adoption. I miraculously got pregnant naturally but sadly that ended in miscarriage. A year and a half into our adoption journey I got pregnant again and this time had a beautiful baby girl. Yeah, there is a 6 yr gap between my 2nd and 3rd children and like you, I'd love lots of kids spaced 2 years apart. I have left if up to Heavenly Father and am doing what I know if right and enjoying what I have. I am grateful for what I have and have stopped living as if I am waiting for one more. Best of luck to you and thanks for sharing.

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  69. Cheri, you are so great, and those sweet boys are so lucky to have you for a mom. You're right, in the long term, you'll look back and see that everything happened perfectly, and you'll be grateful for the exact way that it all happened. Love the Costco hoodie by the way, I resisted buying it for my 4 year old the other day but now think I better go back and get it, haha :).

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  73. We had talked about three year spacing for us. Our son was very unplanned, but when we got pregnant in September, we were thrilled. In late October, I found out it was a blighted ovum. It's been a devastating couple of months. The hardest part is that we're in the middle of a baby boom at work. Two coworkers and a family member have had babies so far in November, and three more people we know are expecting.

    I've been dreaming of a little sister for my son, and I know that either way, we'll be happy with a second child of either gender. My main issue is that we have two girl names in the bag, and barely agreed on our son's name!

    You guys will have a happy complete family in time, be it with just the boys, or more children. Good luck!

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