November 30, 2012

Trust: Our Fertility Story

First of all, thank you SO much for your kind, thoughtful comments that you've left or emailed regarding our pregnancy announcement.   I was so touched by your responses.

As promised, I am going to share our journey.  So if you wanted details - here they are.

My husband and I started trying for our third child almost 2 years ago.  I took almost a year to get pregnant with Rex, but only half a year with Baden.  I kind of thought it would happen faster this time around.  I was wrong.

After a year of trying I asked my doctor about it and he recommended doing some blood work to make sure I was really ovulating, etc.  That turned out fine, so they recommended seeing a fertility doctor from there on out.

For some reason, it took me a few months to make that call.  It was the unknown.  I didn't know about the tests or the costs and I was nervous to head down that road.  

We did finally call and started some tests.  The tests were expensive and not fun, but we really wanted to figure out what was going on.  We did figure out what was wrong, but because it isn't just my personal information I won't be sharing all the details here.  I'm sorry.  

We scheduled a meeting with our new doctor and he explained what was going on.  It was a lot worse than I thought.  He said on a scale of 1-100, our chances of getting pregnant were about a 4.  As he explained everything I was trying so hard not to cry.  Since we already had 2 children I didn't think our chances could be so poor.  I was a bit shocked.  After the consultation I broke down in the parking lot.


The doctor said we could do an IUI (artificial insemination) even though our chances were pretty low.  Since we had conceived before he thought it was worth a shot.  So we did.  The day I went in for it, the nurse gave us more bad news.  There was one more test result that had come back and it wasn't good either.  She explained that the IUI was probably not worth it, but she let me choose.  I was already there and had planned on it so I suggested we still try it.  We had already spent so much money on all the testing that I figured a little more on this try didn't really matter.


Two weeks later I realized I wasn't pregnant again.  The doctor basically told us that  in vitro was our only chance and that we should act quickly if we were going to do it, because our stats weren't getting any better.

We had arrived at decision point.  I felt so frustrated and confused.  Fertility can feel like a dark, strange casino.  You can spend so much with no guarantee of a return.  The stakes just keep getting higher and higher and you don't know if you should fold or stay in another round.

So I asked all of you about in vitro.  Your stories were so helpful.  I was amazed by your strength and by what so many of you had been through.  You gave me a much greater perspective.  Thank you for that.  I wish I had the time to respond to each of those comments and emails.  Please know that that meant a lot to me.

To understand our decision process, you must realize that we are very religious people.  When I have a decision to make, I take it to God.  I believe that He can guide us if we let Him.  After a lot of thought and a whole lot of prayers my husband and I felt like in vitro wasn't our path.  We also felt that adoption wasn't our path.  I was definitely willing to try either one, but I just didn't feel prompted to do either one.


So, we were forced to come to peace with the fact that our family was a family of four and that we were finished.  It was a hard thing to accept.  Realizing that Baden was my last baby and not knowing that at the time broke my heart.  It was all really difficult.  Then I think about some of you and the stories you've shared and my heart breaks even more.  So many of you have gone through so much more than we have.  I admire your strength and your faith and your perseverance.

You see, I am a planner by nature.  I love to know how things will go.  I feel like I can do whatever is asked of me, but I just want to know what that's going to be.  God has given me many opportunities to trust in Him and let go, but I am still learning.  I still try to hold on too tight at times.

Here's an analogy.  A year or two ago we visited a friend we hadn't seen in a while.  They had a playground with a pole you could slide down.  My friend's son slid down it over and over.  Rex wanted to try, but he had never slid down a pole before.  It was funny to watch.  He hung on so tightly.  I tried to explain that he needed to loosen up his grip so he could slide.  He'd loosen it for a half a second and then tighten up again.  He had to make his way down that pole loosening and tightening about 50 times.  It was funny to watch.  I tried to explain there was a better way, but he wanted to do it his way.  And that's me a lot of times.  I'm trying to learn to loosen the grip and trust, but many times I'm hanging on so tightly that I don't let things happen as they should.


We both really started to accept life as it was - which was a great life.  I felt even more grateful for Rex and Baden, knowing that they were truly miracles.  I started thinking about family vacations and things we could do if I knew we were done having kids.  There was the teeniest part of my mind that wondered if by some chance we'd have another, but it's hard to hang onto that when the deck is stacked against you.  It kind of hurts to hang onto that idea.

I finally let go.  A couple of months later I took a pregnancy test on a whim.  I was a little late and I didn't want to let ideas float around my head.  I got a positive.  I was floored, but I also thought it could have been a false positive.  I waited three hours and took another test.  And then I waited another three hours and took another test.  All three were positive.  I wanted to tell my husband in person and unfortunately it was a night he was going to a football game after work.  He got home a little before midnight and I shared the news.  

I wish I had his reaction on video.  He was floored.  He just kept saying, "No way!  Really?" over and over.  I thought I'd wait to tell the boys, but after a day or two I just couldn't wait any longer.  They are excited, even though Rex thinks a dog sounds like more fun :)  They have funny questions and comments and their excitement has helped get through the beast of morning sickness.  The other day my stomach made a loud noise and Baden face lit up.  He asked, "Was that the baby?"  It's so fun to share this with them.

I feel really blessed, but at the same time it doesn't always seem real.  Being sick 24/7 I have to remind myself that I'm not just sick, but actually pregnant.  We will definitely find out if it's a girl or boy, which will be after Christmas.

As I think of our journey I always think about those who are still struggling to conceive or those who have miscarried.  I ache for you.  It doesn't seem fair and that controlling part of me wants to make it all fair.  But, I believe that God has great plans for each of us.  He is concerned about our growth more than our comfort.  He finds ways to make us better than we are.  I know that very deeply.


So, that's our story - our miracle.  I was thinking the other day about my word of 2012.  I chose the word "GIVE."  In my mind I thought of ways to give to charity and promote good.  Now I realize that it was more about giving my will to God....which I am still working on.

Thanks for reading.

86 comments:

  1. Wow. Thank you for sharing so much of your personal life with us. I can't tell you enough how happy I am for you. Probably strange coming from a random blog reader, but I did meet you once and you were so kind and so genuine. Miracles really do happen! I think what struck me the most was your last paragraph. Brought tears to my eyes, thanks for reminding me to truly GIVE myself to my Heavenly Father. I need to do that more often and I needed to hear that today, ALREADY! Thank you for sharing. Congratulations again and again.

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    1. Haha! I was thinking the same thing! That I am sooo happy for you, but that is a little weird coming from a random blog reader! Thanks for sharing this post! What a great reminder to GIVE ourselves to God!

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  2. What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing. I knew after I had my son that we would be done with two. I have a daughter as well. And I will say it was almost as if the Lord whispered in my ear (heart) that this was enough. So I do understand when you say that sometimes you have to let the Lord call the shots. He knows best. ;)

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  3. Thank you for sharing your story Cheri. Hearing about how you handled your struggle is inspiring. Congratulations again on your new little one!

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  4. The power of the lord is amazing. Thanks for sharing how he's worked in your life.

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  5. I'm so glad to hear everything has worked out for you. I share the heartache you've been through, but in a different way. I've had four miscarriages over the last two years, and have had what seems to be every test known to man, and my reproductive endocrinologist can find absolutely no cause. It's always the same. We go in as soon as we find out, see that precious little heartbeat on the ultrasound, and then at 7 weeks its gone. It's heartbreaking every time. No one knows the hurt you endure for a loss that no one recognizes but you and your husband. I still find it hard to believe that we've had the strength to get through this. Our last was in August, and after that I had to take a break. I felt like I was losing touch with everything in my life. Thankfully things are better now and we plan to try again next year. And just like the last couple of years, we pray this year will be better.

    I hope your pregnancy goes smoothly and wish you the best :) Congratulations!

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    1. I certainly understand the heartbreak that comes with a miscarriage and the fear for every pregnancy after, I will be praying for you & your husband!

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    2. I'll be praying you, too. I wish you good luck this year!!
      Aljonushka from faraway Belarus.

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    3. Prayers for you Tracy. I adopted after trying for 6 years for #3. Keep your faith. Be patient. Know God's timing is different than ours. HUGS!

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    4. Thanks so much for your kindness and prayers. It's amazing how much more kindness, support and understanding that you receive from people you've never met than you do from those you see everyday :)

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    5. Tracy, I had that same problem. I would miscarry after about 7 or 8 weeks. I also do not have any common reproductive problems, so it was frustrating. What they did find was that my uterine lining was not soft enough for the egg to implant all the way. They put me on a baby aspirin which slightly thinned my blood but made it so the egg could implant better. I now have a 9 month old little girl named Marley. Maybe ask your Doctor about it when you start trying again. Do you have a slightly longer than normal cycle?? mine was anywhere from 32 to 36 days. So I was ovulating later than at 15 days, and since I was ovulating just a few days later, my uterine lining was just a little more firm than it should be.

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  6. Thank you! To see or rather read your so deeply written from the heart story I really felt how strong your faith is, and that's exactly what I needed to read right now! I'm not struggling with infertility (God has truly blessed us with miracles that doctors told us wouldn't happen) , but am struggling with news of my nieces future from my sister who had conference with doctors today, I am praying for a miracle so she doesn't have to explain to her daughter that which a 9 year old can't grasp. God bless you for sharing His faithfulness and your faith with us. Congrats on your miracle baby! :)

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  7. beautifully written - after 2 years of struggling to get pregnant and all the IVF testing, we were told by doctors that it was highly unlikely we could ever get pregnant without medical intervention - luckily my body responded well to drugs and we were blessed with our twin boys. Imagine our shock when 5 months after their birth I felt sick and took a pregnancy test that turned out positive... I can't imagine life without baby girl in it! God has a way better plan than I could ever imagine ;o)

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  8. Thank you for sharing your story. A true testament to God's glorious nature. I'll be praying for you as you go along this journey. :)

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  9. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.(Romans 12:12). I think that sums it up nicely.

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  10. I cried reading this! It's so amazing what God does for us :)

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  11. I am in tears...We never how blessed we are sometimes (at least I don't)! I'm so happy for you and your family!

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  12. What a miracle your children are! I'm so extremely happy for you!!! We are trying for our third and I've had some complications with miscarriage in the past, hopefully we can have another one too. This gives me hope! God does know what we need. Hugs!

    Jen

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  13. Thank you for sharing something so personal. I'm hoping to get pregnant as well and I feel deep faith that whatever happens will be what's best for our family, it's just sometimes hard to really be at peace with not knowing. Congratulations to you and your darling family!

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  14. When I read your post, I couldn't help but think of one of my friends. She has the same struggle (as most of us do), with letting go and letting God be in control. Her name is Jennifer and she wrote a book called Sit Down, Shut Up and Let Go. It's about her amazing journey to let God control her life. She also blogs about letting go. Please check her out. I would love to send you a copy of her book. It's truly is GREAT. Plus, it's hilarious!!!

    http://www.sitdownshutupletgo.com/

    BTW...I have nothing to gain from posting about her book. :)

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  15. Beautiful post Cheri! Thank you for sharing your story with us. I was bawling by the end. And great analogy. I think I try to hold on too tightly as well. :)

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  16. That was beautiful. Very well spoken. Thanks.

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  17. That was beautiful. Very well spoken. Thanks.

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  18. Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. God is so wonderful to His children!

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  19. Thank you so much for sharing. I was reminded, as I was reading, about my own journey last year. I was having some significant issues with my reproductive system and worried about being able to continue the growth of my family. It is hard to remember to put it God's hands and remember what he tells us in Matthew 6. Not one specific verse, the whole chapter. I remind myself of it everyday.

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  20. Thanks for sharing your story with us all - I am so happy for you guys!!

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  21. Beautiful post Cheri! Thank you for sharing it!

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  22. Thanks for sharing. I know it's a personal story, but I enjoy reading it and feeling like we're friends, even though we haven't met. Some of your comments reminded me of this last conference. It seemed like a prevailing theme was: "Trust in the atonement.
    All that is unfair in this world will someday be made right through it." It's wonderful to have such reassurance, especially when there are times when not much in life seems to be going right.

    I don't know how sick you were with your boys, but I was definitely sicker with my girl. Whatever this baby is, I hope you feel better soon!

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  23. Thank you for sharing this!! And yes, you have me crying too - during my lunch break at work! (Gotta dry these tears before I pick up the kids for recess!) So thankful for the way God works...

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  24. Cheri. Thank you for pouring your heart to us. Most importantly thank you for giving people like me who are facing similar obstacles a little hope and a reminder to Let God. I needed this today. Your amazing. Congratulations to you and your family. Belly pics soon? xoxo

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  25. Thanks for sharing your touching, personal story. We had a similar struggle. After our two boys, we had miscarriage after miscarriage. We didn't know if we would be blessed with any more babies. Then it happened! I was pregnant. And VERY sick. Our baby girl got here, but only with an extremely difficult pregnancy. We thought we were done. To our great surprise, we are expecting another boy in March! These two will only be 17 months apart. What a blessing it is to have the knowledge that our loving Father in Heaven is in charge. :)

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  26. Wow. Just. . . wow. Thanks so much, Cheri. And congratulations, again! I can't wait to hear you're having a girl. ;)

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  27. Amazing story Cheri. I am so happy and excited for you. Having trust and faith in God is the most important thing in life. I am so thrilled that you story has a happy ending.

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  28. 4 from 100!! It's awful to hear such an information from your doctor! It was one of the reasons that made me procratinate our visit to the doctor. Frankly speaking, we didn't visit him. The funniest thing was that I've found out that I was pregnant several days after I've told myself that obviously this year we have to set aside our visit again (some money difficulties),so we wouldn't get a baby this year. Ha! I was very surprised!! I've made 3 tests, too))) I was was it was a miracle! God's blessing)) But your story is a real story of love and faith and miracles! It shows how great God is)) I was astounded by your decidion not to try in vitro, although you wanted a baby too much. You are really strong in your faith, it's great and very rarely nowadays. Thank you for that!! I think God gave you to me as a teacher. You made my day)) I wish you the strongest health!!!!!
    Aljonushka from faraway Belarus

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  29. All in His timing, right? That reminds me of the talk by Linda S. Reeves, "The Lord Has Not Forgotten You," I loved that once she gave her will over to God she could feel him saying, "That's all I needed to know." We had some similar experiences. I've wondered at times why we were blessed with another when so many aren't. He knows better than I do, so I choose not to pursue that train of thought. I'm thrilled for you!

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  30. A dear friend of mine had a very similar journey to you. After years of many tests and much heartache, her doctor told her it was near impossible for her to conceive. a month after that final appointment, she beame pregnant. She, also, gave her will over to God and trusted Him to provide what she needed for life. Her miracle is now 4 years old and a beauitful blessing and reminder that God provides in His own time and His own way. Her story, like yours, is a testament to trust, faith, and God's love. I am very excited for you Cheri and I look forward to following your journey through your blog. Many blessings! "For this child I prayed; and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him." -I Samuel 1:27

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  31. God is good - all the time!

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  32. Thanks for sharing your story! I'm just a random blog reader too, but my husband and I have also walked down the road of infertility and at times it was really dark and confusing. We adopted a little boy who's been home with us for six months now. He just turned two, and he's such a joy! Sometimes I just hold my son and think about what a miracle he is - a miracle that he survived being abandoned at birth with a disability, and a miracle that we get to have him in our family! People sometimes tell us that our son is lucky to have a family now, but we tell them that actually WE'RE the ones who are so blessed by him! We want to adopt again in a couple of years. So happy for you guys and your pregnancy!

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  33. Congratulations again! We love you and are excited to find out what it is!

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  34. Perhaps you've heard it before, Cheri, but Neal A. Maxwell gave a conference talk back in 1995, entitled "Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father," which has stuck with me since (See https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/10/swallowed-up-in-the-will-of-the-father?lang=eng). He concludes: "[T]he submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we 'give', brothers and sisters, are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give! Consecration thus constitutes the only unconditional surrender which is also a total victory!" Powerful, thought-provoking words...

    Congratulations again.

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  35. I can't help but smile everyday thinking of this miracle in our lives. I know it's hard being sick. :( The baby must need so much of you to grow super fantastically smart and cute. :) I can't wait to meet this newest miracle. Every baby is a miracle, but there are some that remind us. My Grant is one of them.
    I'm so proud of you and Jeff's faith and that you trusted God to make the decision. It's wonderful to trust in his plan and timing. I can't wait to hug you guys in a couple of weeks!
    Love you!

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  36. So wonderful Cheri! It was only after finally concieving our boys that I found a relationship with God. I am so glad that He was there to support a guide you in this difficult decision making process. I have come to realize that it is only when we "Let God" that we truly find peace and understanding. Thank you SO MUCH for being such an open an honest writer and sharing your story!
    xo
    Heather

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  37. Congratulations Cheri! I love reading your blog.

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  38. So amazing! God bless your family <3

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  39. I'm so glad I "know" you. That was exactly what I needed to hear right now, though for a much different reason. I am so happy for you and your family. That is wonderful news. I know that pain, and my heart rejoices each time someone I care about gets out of that "club". :) Good luck on this journey, congratulations!

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  40. That is such an incredible story! I am such a planner too. I needed to hear this right now. I often times forget that I am not actually the one in control. I just can't even tell you how thrilled I am for you and your family. Thank you for being so willing to share your story with others who are struggling too. You are amazing!

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  41. Not to give you my whole life story but just to say....my first hubby and I had our wonderful son two years after we were married with no problem at all. Then my hubby went to heaven when my baby was two. I got remarried a year later and wanted my son to have a sibling....I could NOT get pregnant then....I let go....I told God I was content with my one child and then I got pregnant. My children are seven years apart....farther then I planned....but my daughter is five and her name is Ellianna which means "God has answered." May you fell His amazing love and mercy as you welcome your blessing;)

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    1. My daughter's name is Ellianna too (we spell it the same way!!) and she also came after a great and devastating loss. It's not a usual name :) Happy to hear "Ellianna" has been a blessing to others!!!! (I seriously thought she was going to NEVER encounter another Ellianna in her lifetime :)

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  42. Lovely, Cheri. Thanks for opening your heart to your readers, it makes your blog all the more beautiful.

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  43. Wow! Your story is such a beautiful testament of faith. Thank you for sharing.

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  44. I am not a random blog reader and have followed you since almost the (blog's) beginning. I think what keeps me coming back over and over is 1) how truly awesome and creative you are and 2) because when I read your posts I don't feel like I'm reading some tutorial or some random message on the web, but like you're talking to me- person to person. I was so thrilled to hear of your pregnancy and now to hear details of your struggle I want to offer the most sincere "congratulations". You have blessed so many with your art, wisdom, creativity and giving spirit that I am not surprised that God has blessed you in this way. You are one of those shining lights in humanity :) Blessed be.

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  45. You are amazing I am SO excited for you!

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  46. Beautiful post and I think you are very wise to realize there are things we cannot control and trust that it will still work out if we can learn to let go.

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  47. I love your story about sliding down the pole---so true and so funny, I'm sure we look just like that :)

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  48. You are amazing, and I am happy for you and your family, thanks for sharring.

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  49. Thank you for this post. I've been in tears the entire time I was reading it. It really touched me and was a lot of what I needed to hear. We've been trying to get pregnant for so long and found out last month I was. After a couple of ups and downs it was finally determined that I did miscarry and had to have a D&C. I'm still not at peace with it all. I still have so much anger and hurt about it and I'm trying to give it all to God but I feel like every time I turn around there is just a reminder or it all and I can't break through it. I was so happy for you when you posted that you were pregnant and then a shortly there after another blogger posted that she too was pregnant after a struggle of trying to conceive. I don't know when you're due but if you're finding out after Christmas I'm assuming around June. Suddenly it feels like just about everyone is announcing their pregnancies and due in June and I'm so sad I'm not in that club as well. I know it will happen. I feel like there is another baby for me, and I truly am happy for everyone else because I know how thrilling it is when you've tried for so long. I know it's just my trial and I too know that my Heavenly Father loves me, but your post really reminded me that I need to have more faith. I need to pray more than I've been able to through all of this and trust in Him. I loved that picture that said "Let Go(d)". Thank you. I really, really needed this tonight and know that you were in some way to post this today for me.

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  50. I love this story and I am so happy for you! (hugs)

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  51. wow what a wonderful reminder He is in charge and this can be so strengthening to all of us in our journey regardlesss of what the obstacles are. He is in charge.Great reminder for me personally.

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  52. Thanks for sharing the beautiful story of your miracle. Babies are such a blessing and I am so happy that you will be welcoming another into your home. Lucky bub!!

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  53. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story of love, courage and trust with us. What a miracle you're experiencing! May God continue to bless your family as you allow him to work in your lives.

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  54. I stumbled upon your blog when looking for the 12 Days of Christmas gift ideas for my hubby and then saw this. We've been TTC for 10 months, I had a miscarriage 9 weeks ago and it was my first pregnancy. Dr didn't look into any problems just said this happens some times. I am just waiting for AF to show or to take a pregnancy test but some days it is hard to hold out hope. All though I haven't been diagnosed with anything this was so inspirational to read and just reminds me of what I say all the time. We have a GREAT GOD and if you trust in Him, He'll give you the desires of your heart! Thank you so much for your sincerity and openness. Blessings on the little one that he is knitting inside your womb and I will add you to my prayers for safety.

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  55. That's an awesome story! Thank you much for sharing!

    The awesome part isn't that you're going to have a baby (I mean, that's awesome, but not the awesomest part - for me). The awesome part is that you came to a point of acceptance and that either way, you knew that God was in control and had a plan - baby or not. Thanks for sharing!

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  56. You're such a good Momma, that God knew He wanted more of your well-parented children in the world :) I started following you for crafts, but really enjoyed your Momma-School activities this past summer, my little ladies and I hope you continue the series!! And congratulations, I hope this is an extra special holiday!

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  57. Thank you, for sharing. I'm a newer reader (found your blog for the crafts, started following for everything) who has been dealing with some stuff this past week that isn't fun (The phrase "kick them when they're down" comes to mind. I've been sick and I feel like that's why all the mess has happened--not physically strong enough to fight it off) and your blog post is inspiring and comes at a much needed time. I'm only 19 and am not married, so I don't relate to the blog post in that way--but just the last picture struck a chord in my heart, as did what you said: "He is concerned about our growth more than our comfort." Some people would find that a very sticky concept, but to me, today, it's the most freeing thing. He gives us trials because He is growing us, and that's so important to remember. I am so, so happy for your miracle. :) Thank you for your story.

    Gabrielle

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  58. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It gives me hope than my own story will turn out alright as well. My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for almost a year when we found out we were pregnant! We were so excited for our first baby... but then we found out that it was a tubal pregnancy. I ended up having to have emergency surgery and the pregnancy had done so much damage to my fallopian tube, that they had to remove it. So I lost my pregnancy and one of my tubes. Luckily, the doctor says I am still able to conceive, but it will be a little more difficult. I'm a planner just like you, and it is SO hard to just let go and put things in our Heavenly Father's hands, but look what happened when you did! We have been trying for 6 months now with no luck, but I have been working very hard to do the same thing, and let God handle things. I know that His plans for me are much more amazing than any plans I could dream up for myself.
    Congratutations, and thank you so much for sharing and giving the rest of us hope.
    Congratulations

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  59. Thank you for sharing such a personal and difficult story. I have gone through fertility issues and it's so hard. I still don't share our story because of the hurt, even with a child and one more on the way. It hurts. Thank you for your bravery and congratulations again!

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  60. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I was in tears reading it. May things go well with you & your family.

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  61. Very touching. Thank you for sharing.
    And may your sickness go away very very soon. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

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  62. Thank you so much for sharing your story. God bless you and your family. Have a very merry Christmas. :)

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  63. Dear Cheri...

    We love you all very much. That is all... but that is everything.

    Love,
    us

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  64. Thank you so much for sharing. I am an OCD, detail oriented planner at heart and occupation. As a result, hardest lesson from God is for me to trust and let go. I know that he will continue to test me until I can truly let go. I try. I really do. Our fertility journey was backwards. First child - two years of treatment including two failed IUIs. Eight years later pregnant first month trying. Third child completely unplanned while having an IUD. Trusting in Gods plan was actually the hardest that time. I had a horrible, complicated pregnancy. I prayed constantly for guidance. Even now I struggle with work and trying to raise three boys well. I'm crying just typing this out because I feel so often that I fail at all things. Blogs are sometimes like airbrushed fashion magazines - unrealistic and out of reach for normal moms. Thank you for presenting the truth, sharing your struggles, and at least for this GA girl, for inspiring us to keep trying and to Trust.

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  65. Oh Cherie,

    Thank you.

    Congraulations.

    I will keep you in my prayers for this pregnancy.
    Debra

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  66. Wow! Great ofyou to share...congrats! :). I love the quote you posted at the end, and I think I'm going to frame it for my Christmas table....maybe the saviour felt that way too. :). I will also keep you and your fam in my prayers. I hope you feel better soon!

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  67. Sometimes the best things are worth waiting for! You are truly blessed to have 2 healthy boys and another one on the way. Thanks for sharing!!

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  68. Thanks for sharing this, Cheri. I'm so excited for you!

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  69. What an amazing journey you are on, and I appreciate you letting all of us share in your joy and your struggles. I really hope this sickeness lets up soon, congrats, may you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!!!

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  70. What an amazing story. I am so happy for you. We had been married several years and still didn't have any kids when we went for fertility testing. We were told we had a 1% chance of having kids. After a surgery our odds increased and we were blessed with two great kids via IUI. We tried for a third that way but it didn't work and we stopped trying due to the cost. We then got pregnant naturally only to have that end in miscarriage. Two years ago we got pregnant naturally again and have another girl. We are a happy family of 5, and content, but..... willing to have more if that's the Lord's plan. There is a 6 yr gap between the two youngest and it has actually worked out great. I love the close age of my first two and worried about the large age gap, but the older kids just love the baby of the family. It is also great that they are old enough to help out some too, which made having three easier than having two. Best of luck to you and your family.

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  71. I was weepy reading your story. I have 3 wonderful boys and have wanted another since my youngest was 1 year old ( 5 years ago), but I had some difficult health issues and I am not able to have anymore. We have been trying to adopt for the last 2 years with no luck.
    I have made peace with it. Sometime it still really aches and hurts, but I have given it over to the Lord. I have done everything I can do on my end, and I have great peace in that.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  72. I was weepy reading your story. I have 3 wonderful boys and have wanted another since my youngest was 1 year old ( 5 years ago), but I had some difficult health issues and I am not able to have anymore. We have been trying to adopt for the last 2 years with no luck.
    I have made peace with it. Sometime it still really aches and hurts, but I have given it over to the Lord. I have done everything I can do on my end, and I have great peace in that.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  73. Wow! What an amazing awe-inspiring story. I wish you all the best!

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  74. LOVED this post! I could so relate to it. We too have infertility issues and were not able to get pregnant. We too had the decision of IVF and felt very strongly adoption was our path. Our boys joined our family through adoption and I am so blessed to have been part in that miracle, and to have had a front row seat in watching what God had exactly in store for us unfold right before our eyes. We too wanted a third and so applied for adoption again. Two years of waiting and a few failed adoptions and we thought maybe our two boys were it for us. Then after 10 years of marriage I found out I was actually pregnant, something I thought would never happen. Now we have our beautiful little daughter! It was not the path I would have chosen for myself, but just like you said, it was exactly what I needed. Thanks for sharing! I too am a random blog read who has never posted before, but am so very happy for you!!!

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  75. Aw, this made my eyes tear up so much because it so reminds me of our own story, and the gap between Nicole and Olivia, and the reasons behind it. And when I took a pregnancy test on a whim and it was positive I went into shock and just started bawling, I was so overwhelmed. Your story just brings that feeling right back. And of course when I was sure I had it all figured out again how my life would go... I got pregnant with Jackson just a month and a bit after Olivia was weaned!
    My little asian midwife says, "BAH, you guys not infertile! Doctors don't know." so true, doctors don't know at all! :)

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  76. It is amazing how many people struggle to get pregnant. Especially when you are the one trying and everyone around you seems to be pregnant at the moment. I too struggled with fertility issues and to this day we are still unsure as to why. The last Dr. I visited said, quite frankly, "I cannot help you. You probably won't ever get pregnant unless you do IVF or decide to adopt." I left completely lost, heartbroken and aching. We decided that we would take a break from actively trying and by a mighty surprise we found out we were expecting about three months later. After four very long years, many tests and doubts we were expecting our little miracle. When our son was 8 months old we decided to try for baby number two thinking it could possibly take another four years. Our boys are 17.5 months apart. I often wonder if we would have decided to have another child if it would come easy or much time would pass before we conceived? I am so happy to hear that you are expecting and all is well. It is beyond humbling to know and understand that others can share in the heartache when feritlity feels so lonely. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  77. Totally made me cry! I am beyond happy for you and your miracle baby. And I love what you said at the end about giving your will to God. Such a tough thing to do sometimes, at least for the control freak in me. :) Congrats mama! Can't wait to hear what you are having!

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