January 23, 2013

What I Love Wednesday - Love and Logic


While motherhood is one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced, there have been many moments in my motherhood experience where I feel frustrated and even feel like I don't know what to do.  One of my kids will start a new phase and I worry about how to teach them to do what's right and how to keep my patience.


I think it's helpful to get ideas from other people, but sometimes their situations aren't the same as yours.  I've read several books on parenting, and of all the books there is one that is my favorite.  I keep coming back to it.  It's "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood."  You can find it on the Love and Logic site HERE, but it's probably less expensive in other places (like HERE on Amazon).


Frankly speaking, you'll have to ignore the nerdy, weird cover and give the book a shot.  Here's what I like about this book and the concept in it.

- It explains that all people feel the need to have control in their lives - even our children.  It explained that in a way I hadn't thought of and goes on to tell why it's important to give children choices.

- It stresses the importance of being calm and communicating clearly.  This is something I have to keep working on.  When I get really frustrated, it doesn't ever help the situation.

- It shows you how to help your children make decisions and therefore gain confidence in themselves.

- It's an easy read, with lots of situations that you can relate to.

- It's written in chapters with suggestions to practice implementing at the end of each one.

The key to the success of the concepts is in your ability to be consistent with them.  I'm not perfect at this, which is why I keep coming back to the book again and again :)

I'm not being paid to write about this.  I just really like this book and figure there might be someone out there who is struggling with their kids right now.  It's great to have a fresh perspective.

Are there any parenting books you've loved?  I'd love to hear about them.  Thanks for stopping by.

21 comments:

  1. The Berenstain Bears books. I'm not even kidding, lots of good advice in those

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  2. I have read that book. It didn't work with my autistic son, but something that has worked with him and the rest of my kids is "1,2,3 Magic". It's simple and logical too. I just started using it with my 2 year old and it works like Magic.
    I agree with the consistency thing. That is always hard for me too.

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    1. We have found it very helpful too! I love that it works for the little ones and even our 7-year-old!

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  3. We love 123 magic too!
    Heather

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  4. When I was teaching, I took two separate day-long conferences with the authors of the love and logic books and they were amazing! It helped so much in my classroom that when I was pregnant with my first, I bought this book and read it cover to cover. I need to go back and review it (I always give my kids too many chances to obey and get frustrated too easily) but I agree with you and highly recommend it!

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  5. Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys, or anything by Steve Biddulph and his wife!

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    1. Raising Boys is a fantastic, fantastic book! Forgot that one in my comment below.

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  6. 'Hold on to Your Kids' by Gordon Neufeld is brilliant. 'Simplicity Parenting' by Kim John Payne is brilliant also. Both of these are my absolute favourites. I have just bought 'The Conscious Parent' by Dr Shefali Tsabary as well (after watching her TED talk - highly recommend that as well!) and am looking forward to reading that when it arrives.

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  7. I, too, have learned so much from the Love and Logic books. The principals make so much sense, and they really work!! Time for me to pull mine off the bookshelf and re-read. Thanks for the reminder.

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  8. Love Raising Your Spirited Child. And I think hat a lot of the ideas apply to non spirited kids as well (although I wouldn't know since I have 3 of the spirited variety.

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  9. I've loved anything by Julie Ann Barnhill or Kevin Lemann. They both write in a very funny way that helps swallow the pills that they have to give us parents. They emphasize the fact that the majority of kids behavior problems rest on the shoulders of the parents but give so many helpful tips and tricks that you can always find something that will work in your situation. I also like Creative Correction. Not so much for her specific answers to problems but to really cement the idea that cookie cutter consistency doesn't always work. Consistently finding creative solutions to problematic situations can better teach our children. Kids can be so unique in how they drive us crazy that a one size fits all consequence doesn't usually get results. Have fun!

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  10. I have to agree COMPLETELY on the Love and Logic series. My daughter, who has autism, was verrrrrrrrrry difficult for the first 3 1/2 years of her life. I'm sure part was from an inability to communicate and part was my parenting "style" (controlling drill sergeant anyone?) I took a L&L course (partly out of desperation), and the giving choices thing is like pure gold for our family. Once I started giving her choices, I'm not kidding, it was like she was a whole different kid. It literally probably cut out 90% of her tantrums, and I was left feeling like I might be able to be successful at this whole mothering thing. The whole course for me was so very helpful, and really taught me how important it is to be consistent and how harmful those second (third, fourth, fifth) chances are... I completely recommend Love and Logic. It has made my experience being a parent so much more enjoyable and relaxing and I actually have wayyyy more fun with my kids these days! Love it.

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  11. I have to agree COMPLETELY on the Love and Logic series. My daughter, who has autism, was verrrrrrrrrry difficult for the first 3 1/2 years of her life. I'm sure part was from an inability to communicate and part was my parenting "style" (controlling drill sergeant anyone?) I took a L&L course (partly out of desperation), and the giving choices thing is like pure gold for our family. Once I started giving her choices, I'm not kidding, it was like she was a whole different kid. It literally probably cut out 90% of her tantrums, and I was left feeling like I might be able to be successful at this whole mothering thing. The whole course for me was so very helpful, and really taught me how important it is to be consistent and how harmful those second (third, fourth, fifth) chances are... I completely recommend Love and Logic. It has made my experience being a parent so much more enjoyable and relaxing and I actually have wayyyy more fun with my kids these days! Love it.

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  12. Don't Make Me Count to Three is a good read too!

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  13. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman

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  14. 5 Love Langauges by Gary D Chapman. (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=5+love+languages&sprefix=5+love+lan%2Cstripbooks%2C322)
    There's a couple different ones, focusing on different relationships. Very insightful. Its one of those things where you read it and on one hand go "Duh, everyone knows that" then you reflect and think "but am I actually DOING it??" Great books :D

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  15. Raising Godly Tomatoes! :) http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/

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  16. Raising Godly Tomatoes! :) http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/

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  17. Love this, Cheri! Thanks for sharing resources that you find helpful.
    I got "Give them Grace" by Elyse Fitzpatrick for Christmas and am lo-oving it! Couldn't recommend it enough!

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  18. I really liked The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Tracy Hogg. This was especially helpful with my newborn. She focuses on routines and making your child feel loved and not abandoned (like with sleep training). She gives so many helpful tips for any kind of problem a baby or toddler might have. I keep going back to this whenever my son seems to be going through a new transition.

    Thanks for sharing your book, I think I will read it. I love parenting books and I think your book will help me with my son as he grows up. (He's 18 months now).

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  19. My parents used love and logic, and i am so glad! I have found myself using it w out even realizing, simply handling a situation like my parents wouldhave! Now that I have myown children, I too read this book, and it has helped me be patient and handle frustrating situations calmly. I would def recommend this book or any love and logic book to any parent or teacher!

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